Hey here are my thoughts and questions on your script. How is Dross able to get out? Is it because it's just him and he is not supporting a family? From what I remember you talked about it was really hard to leave. Does he refer to Nathan as his first mate and cabin boy or is his wife the first mate? To me "everything I've done since I've gotten out ... Makes it seem like he's been out a long time not only one day maybe have him say something more everything I'm doing, maybe a plea for his wife to trust him? Maybe him saying everything I'm doing is to keep you and Nathan safe. I don't want to lie to you, but I can't tell you everything.... Something like that showing that he trusts his wife, but wants to protect them but I think he needs to end with some kind of light humor because she says you're a mystery and it feels like she would be responding to his humor Do people keep breaking the ship and that's why it takes so long to build? Are there going to be moments where he realizes his dad actually taught him to sail/navigate without knowing? Kind of like Onward where he realizes he had a dad all along I thought the leaning back in the chair comment was funny Rather than saying you remember my old saying, maybe you could have the dad start saying it and then the son jump in showing he knows the saying well When he says the sooner the better I wonder if he sees something in the distance or hears a storm something that signals something is bad coming Some of the dialogue feels like you are still finding how they will talk in your world, which is totally fine. I know this is a draft. These are just suggestions and I hope they are helpful. I'm excited to read more!

I think we said Wednesday, but I can't be there tonight. If anyone puts anything new to read I will try to comment on it.

Also from the title I thought it was going to be closer to the walking dead.

I just updated your access to editor. Hopefully that works.

I just read the new pages so I don't know if you made changes to the last pages, but I had a question why is Eve working two jobs? Is she working towards a goal and needs more money, is this society just so expensive that everybody has to work multiple jobs, or does she have some debt that she's trying to pay off? From what you said it sounds like she's a person who is trying to do it all so I was just trying to figure out what her motivation was behind the two jobs. There was one place where you said begins to get their stuff ready at the beach or something like that.

@Stu Jardine I'm curious what happens if people are not productive.