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129 contributions to 9D Free Community
Where is everyone based?
I'm curious where everyone is based in the world? I'm in Israel and was wondering if there are others from previous cohorts who are also here? I'd also love to know how people are bringing this work into their practices? Individual sessions, group sessions, online, face to face? I found myself getting overwhelmed at the possibilities and we aren't even there yet 😂
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New comment Oct '23
4 likes • Jan '23
@Matt Clark we used to camp in the Duck Creek area, beautiful country.
2 likes • Mar '23
@Barbara Lanz two of my boys traveled to Fort Myers to help rebuild, the devastation is unbelievable. 😔
Shame
Good morning beautiful ones. I am reaching out for support. Some days living with cptsd kicks my a**. I find myself in a self-saboatge shame cycle again and this one has been a doozy. Full of overwhelm, avoidance, self-deprecating self talk, binge eating and spending money recklessly. Laying on the couch doom scrolling. Ugh. I feel shame around not leading a single journey thus far. I did some Journaling this morning and my shame is wrapped around success, that's all that mattered to my ex. If I didn't succeed at something, and I never did in his eyes, I wasnt good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, deserving of anything. I wasn't wife enough or mother enough. I'd never get it right and I'd just mess things up for him to have to fix. Better of just staying in the background as a pretty little thing. Just a trophy wife. More that 20 years of manipulation, control, gaslighting, abuse. That's the garbage that still runs through my head nearly 10 years later. I'm free now but I'm not. I am so afraid of not succeeding. That fear becomes paralyzing. I numb out, that became my befault survival mechanism. Even though I'm in a safe, loving and supportive marriage now my brain doesn't always believe it. Ive been working on healing my mind, making better connections and associations for my mind. I know what I need to do but I can't get my mind, body and emotions together to do it. To that end I am asking for recommendations on journeys to help get me up and over this bump in the road. I haven't done a journey in a couple weeks and I definitely feel the difference. Maybe I need to revisit a journey I've already done? I overthink everything so help me keep it simple! I know I can't effectively use the medicine of breathwork to help others if I don't use it first to help myself. Thank you all for being the amazing human beings you are. ❤️
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New comment Dec '23
3 likes • Mar '23
@Barbara Lanz these are all great points, I'll have to think on this. Thank you. 💕
3 likes • Mar '23
@Yara Randa Thank you. My husband has a show tomorrow so I will be home taking care of my mother-in-law, part of me feels I'll have time to focus on this, part of me feels not so much, you have to tend to mom. I feel quilty for focusing on me while she needs help with all the things we take for granted everyday, like getting out of bed, fixing a meal, using the bathroom etc. I do what I can while she takes a nap, just lke I did when my boys were babies. Life circles "round.
Releasing repressed Trauma - Trigger warning
Trigger warning involving sexual violation I had done the 5 Trauma Journey and I completed the offering Brian so generously shared with us a couple days. The 9D Trauma journey. It felt pretty gentle in comparison to the first experience. I felt amped up and clear energy and lots of love and inspiration for what I want to create in life. I was feeling a lot of unintegrated emotions from a medicine journey a few days before and it helped to settle my system and to prepare for a meeting with a love of mine. So a few hours after the journey I was interacting with and making love with this partner and deep in the middle of hours of connection, one of his actions triggered me to begin to cry and weep suddenly. And I had flashes of a repressed sexual trauma that happened on my 24th birthday, 13 years ago. That night I went out to drink at a place in the middle of Laos by myself. I woke up the next morning in a strangers hut, naked, with a man I had never seen before. And I remembered nothing. I always assumed I was drugged and filled in the blanks with my imagination. And I've had some inklings over the last 13 years that THAT event is tied to a lot of needs around sexual healing and feeling safe in general in my body and able to express myself. And SO. . .2 nights ago after having done the breathwork journey I had this moment where I was weeping and I had flashbacks I'd never seen of the man and what happened to me that night. I began to choke and relived it a little but thanks to the breathwork I quickly began to tell myself I was safe, to dissolve the trauma in the cells of my DNA and release it and I was filled with love and compassion for myself but also the man from that night. It was like I was right there in the breathwork journey going through the releases Brian led us through. And as I felt held in the current moment by myself and my lover, I was able to move through and continue feeling safe with him and then used the bubble of light at the end of the night to anchor in the immense love and peace and surrender and safety I felt within myself - around sex and intimate connection - all of it. And it feels like there's likely more to unravel and integrate and I'm SO STOKED around the sexual healing that took place.
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New comment Feb '23
3 likes • Feb '23
Thank you for being brave enough to share such a vulnerable experience. So many people have sexual trauma, much like mental health, the more we talk about it the more we help to break the stigma around it. Our stories can become a guide for someone else's healing. Letting us witness a moment in your healing may very well spark some healing in someone else. Much love to you. 💕
Intense
#Dec 5, 2022 Kundalini Awakening Journey with Reece It was an intense & profound journey. Loved the music and also to experience Reece's own guiding style. Thanks for the journey Reece! <3
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New comment Mar '23
0 likes • Feb '23
I haven't done this one yet, I'm not sure why I'm hesitant to do this one?
Better Sleep and Signs
Before I started this breath work journey I did not sleep well at all. I rarely woke up feeling rested. I would wake up a during the night and it would feel like hours before I could fall back asleep and then my alarm was going off. I decided to go back and check my watch for my sleep patterns to see how they had changed. I wasn't waking up as tired most mornings so I must be sleeping better. 11/25/22- I was just beginning my breath journey and my deep sleep % was 23%. 1/16/23- 2 months later and my deep sleep % was 43%. 2/13/23- my deep sleep % was 52%! While I know that my watch is not 100% accurate, there is definitely improvement in my deep sleep numbers. I don't recall a night in the last month that I've woken up and been unable to get back to sleep. And I haven't felt the need to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks after lunch! Proof is in the pudding, as they say. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a sign I received on a little blue sticky note. The Universe Talking. A couple days ago my husband and I went to lunch at a local Chinese Buffet, my fortune cookie read, "Better to do something imperfectly than do nothing perfectly." Well I've been trying to have a "perfect" playlist for my first guided journey, and while I'm trying to perfect said playlist I'm actually getting nothing done. - It's not perfect yet so I can't guide a journey yet- ... blah. Just one of the ways I hide, behind "perfection". I know full well that perfection is an illusion that keeps growth just out of reach. So within the next week I will guide my first journey. I will stop hiding behind perfection and put myself out there, because the only way to get great is to do it, make the mistakes and do it again, and again, building the skills and knowledge, and faith in my own ability I need to BE great.
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New comment Feb '23
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Michelle Voytko
6
1,051points to level up
@michelle-voytko-7716
I'm a teacher and artist at heart who's lost her muse.

Active 106d ago
Joined Dec 6, 2022
INFP
Upstate NY
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