Financial security . If I have for me then I have for my kids and pet and then need nothing else for us, we already have each other but that doesn't buy the stove or fix the food or the furnace to stay warm lol

@Trent Green thank you

Have been interested probably since college but while read and learned on the edges I never dived all the way in. The natural aspects and not 1 "god" per se were my triggers that began it. I think there is good and evil. I think a good majority of true "Christians" I meet or interact with are raving hypocrites and or bigots (many of my family included). The first to preach God, forgiveness the the right thing yet they are the first to judge. Always drove me insane and just further alienated me. So, kids are finally graduating, I'm going going to 30 practices and games a week between 2 kids anymore so I am slowly dipping myself back in, and back to work, and doing crafts again, and living for ME. Now to figure how to get house fixed and light a fire under my 18 yr old to pick up turn off lights and help with HIS animals roflmao!!!!!!!