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I had a conversation with a friend recently that's been on my mind. They're facing multiple difficulties right now. And I mean *multiple* - any one of these challenges would be a lot for a single person to handle. Some are external circumstances beyond their control, while others stem from decisions they've made over time. Either way, they've got several different hardships hitting them all at the same time. What struck me most was how this pile-up of problems creates a kind of paralysis. When you're facing so many challenges simultaneously and the situation seems impossible, that's incredibly stressful. It zaps your energy. The sheer weight of everything makes it difficult to even begin finding a way out. As we talked, I started to notice something. Beneath all these various problems, there's usually some major thing - a core belief or situation - that they've come to accept as unchangeable. Yet that's precisely what needs to change. Here's what I mean: Over time, we develop patterns and beliefs about our lives. Certain aspects become so familiar that we stop evaluating them. We accept them as fixed realities simply because they've been there so long. "This is just how my relationship is." "This is just the job I have." "This is just how I handle money." "This is just who I am." But often, it's these very things - the ones we've stopped questioning - that are actually holding everything else in place. They've become the foundation that all our other problems are built upon. The hardest choice isn't deciding which of your many problems to tackle first. The hardest choice is identifying and confronting the thing you've convinced yourself cannot change. Maybe it's a relationship that's been dragging you down for years, but you've convinced yourself you can't leave, or it can'tbe fixed. Maybe it's a job that's crushing your spirit, or that youre terrible at business, but you've told yourself you have no other options. Maybe it's a pattern of behavior you've labeled as "just who I am," when it's actually something you learned and can unlearn.

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It’s funny looking back—after I sold my previous company I developed an ego, I told myself how great I was. But in reality all my business choices were total failures and bad moves. I spent a lot of time on ridiculous things—obsessing over a business card that no one would ever see, redoing my website over and over and over, changing my taglines endlessly. What’s the name of my business? Oh, I’d get different domain names. Everything except actually doing business. And even as I got through those things, I just kept making more and more mistakes. I was doing things that didn’t matter, avoiding the truly hard part, which was simply talking to a lot of people really fast and selling them stuff. That was the only thing that actually moved the needle, but I wasn’t doing it. Instead, I was keeping myself "busy." Of course, you can imagine that all this work didn’t do anything. So what did I think? That I wasn’t being productive enough. That I just couldn’t get enough done. And that became my main problem—or so I thought. Since I believed that was the issue, I started looking for all the optimization techniques. Getting up early, setting routines, journaling—all the things that everyone says you need to do. And that just became one more thing. And sure, all of that optimization matters—but only if you’re at least doing the right things in the first place. And that’s the key: The biggest productivity boost you can make today is simply to only do the things you need to do. Nothing else. I don’t know why it’s so hard for us to do that. Self-sabotage? Fear of failure? Maybe. But we don’t always see it. Instead of trying to optimize your life, there’s no point in even doing that until you’re actually working on the right things. So then the only question to ask is: What is the right thing to work on? And while that is different for everyone, the scariest part of that question is that I rarely look to myself to answer it. It was just the endless scrolling of social media that would leave me confused as to what to do. I’d take in all these different opinions, strategies, and ideas, and instead of finding clarity, I’d end up more lost than before.

Social media is a great tool if you can keep it real. But it pushes you to fake it. "No one will hire me if tell the truth". Then people talk above their own level. But it's a trap, when you fake it, it slows you down -- you can't actually grow. You're literally making shit up, and then you have to pretend that shit works. When you're real, you're free, you move fast, you can document your journey. You can explore, improve, show off, it's easy. You learn REAL STUFF. When you fake it, you move slow, covering your tracks, you feel like an imposter. You move slow hoping that you're not "exposed" as a fraud. Sometimes people feel like an imposter because they ARE. The only people that can truly fake it online, succeed and make a lot of money are people with no morals. They aren't honest, and they leave a trail of wreckage behind them. If you're a normal person like me, who feels bad if they lie, just be you, all the time, as best you can. On the flip side, don't sell yourself short, brag a little. Brag a lot even, just brag about real stuff. Be free, be open, let the world see who you are. You're a wonderful person who has many REAL experiences to share. Now you just need to go do it.