Hi! I'm Melissa and I got The Fearless Phoenix, which I already wrote a short essay about on another post. 🤣 Art, drawing, was "my thing" through school up through classes in college. However, once I left that structure I stopped. I beat myself up over it so much. I dabbled with letting my creativity shine in different ways but they were always purpose driven and never incorporated my drawing or anything that reflected my inner world. I tried a few times over the years to get back to it, but I struggled because what showed up on the page didn't feel right. It became easier to ignore that need because I didn't have a dedicated space so I didn't see my supplies calling out to me. Eventually I was blessed to get an iPad, and downloaded Procreate. I still didn't create! It wasn't until three years ago that I could no longer ignore that creative itch and started to learn digital art. It is portable, and I take it everywhere. What changed? I was finally safe to truly be vulnerable, and art is very vulnerable for me. I have yet to return to analog art, but I am being pulled to it more strongly every day. What holds me back from that? My own expectations of skill based on the past. I will get through that as well. School pushed towards photorealism and I was pretty good at it. I am going to stay away from that and develop a more illustrative style that (hopefully) captures emotion and energy. I have made attempts in Procreate, but what I can feel in my bones that I need is to feel and hear the scratch of pencil on paper. I lose the energy when I go from sketch to final drawing. I'm excited to see how others here fuel that innate need to create.

@Demeka Tigner Absolutely. I have done a lot of work to heal from trauma, and I have carried it in my body for so long that I don't know how to physically release it. I believe that is what is calling to me - connecting my body and spirit.

How painful to go through. I am so happy you have found a safe space to show up for yourself and be supported in the process.

This is so true for me. I'm so thankful I am in a place in my life where I can create in ways that were too vulnerable before, and not for external validation by a grade. 😊 Thank you for this space!

I got The Fearless Phoenix. 🐦‍🔥 "Fearless" is not a word I would use to describe myself so I wasn't expecting to resonate with the archetype. It's not about being fearless in all things. It's about being fearless to be reborn, to try again, to transform the the ashes back into life. That definitely resonates with me in life in general. I can easily identify a few points in my life where I was broken and came back stronger. I smile because tulips have been my favorite flower since childhood. I don't know where that love came from, but after one of the major transformations I realized that tulips continue to grow even after they are cut. They stretch toward the life-giving sun. Tulips now hold a much deeper meaning for me than their surface beauty - and isn't that what we seek in life? There is a quote I found today that was one of those moments where it seemed so obvious once it was stated but I had never thought of it that way until that moment. Someone else had to give me the words. Frank Macri was describing how he feared putting himself out there because of the fear of people judging him. We've all heard "people are going to judge you no matter what" but Frank posed this question to himself: "What version of me do I want people to judge?" That flipped perspective from having to accept something I felt I had no control over, to reminding me I did have control over the piece that mattered. most - my authenticity. aaaaand I think this post just reinforces the Phoenix vibes. 🤣