In this lesson, we looked at rejection sensitivity. This is the ADHD pattern where criticism, silence, disapproval, conflict, or even a small change in tone can hit much harder than people realise. Someone replies differently. A friend seems off. You get feedback. You make a mistake. Someone takes longer than usual to reply. And suddenly your brain starts creating a story: They’re annoyed with me. I’ve messed up. They don’t like me anymore. I’m too much. I always ruin things. The painful part is that the story can feel true because the emotion is so strong. But one of the biggest skills here is learning to separate: What happened from what my brain says it means. A short message does not always mean someone is angry. Feedback does not always mean failure. Someone being quiet does not always mean rejection. The feeling is real. But the first story your brain creates may not be the full truth. Your turn 💬 What tends to trigger rejection sensitivity for you, and what story does your brain usually create? You could share: - criticism or feedback - delayed replies - short messages - conflict - being left out - making mistakes - someone sounding “off” - feeling ignored - disappointing someone - asking for help Example: Delayed replies trigger me. My brain usually creates the story that I’ve annoyed them or they don’t want to speak to me anymore. Or: Feedback triggers me. Even when it’s fair, my brain turns it into “I’m failing and they’re disappointed in me.” Only share what you’re comfortable sharing. The goal is not to judge the reaction. The goal is to notice the trigger, name the story, and start creating a little space before believing it. And if someone else shares a story your brain tells too, reply to them. Rejection sensitivity feels very personal, but a lot of ADHD brains create similar painful stories.

In this lesson, we looked at hyperfocus. That ADHD pattern where your brain locks onto something so strongly that it becomes hard to stop, switch, or notice anything else. Sometimes hyperfocus is useful. You get deep into a project. You solve a problem. You write, build, clean, create, research, organise, or finish something with a level of focus that feels almost impossible at other times. But sometimes hyperfocus becomes a trap. You lose hours scrolling. You go too deep into a random research rabbit hole. You perfect one tiny detail while avoiding the main task. You forget to eat, drink, move, sleep, or reply to people. That’s why hyperfocus can feel confusing. It can be a strength. It can also be costly. The key reframe is this: Hyperfocus does not mean you don’t have ADHD. It shows that ADHD is often about difficulty regulating attention, not a total lack of attention. The question is not just: “Can I focus?” The better question is: “Is my focus going where I actually want it to go?” Your turn 💬 What do you tend to hyperfocus on, and does it usually help you, hurt you, or a bit of both? You could share: - work projects - creative ideas - cleaning bursts - research rabbit holes - gaming - social media - shopping - problem-solving - overthinking conversations - health worries - business ideas - hobbies - perfectionism Example: I hyperfocus on research. It helps because I learn loads, but it also hurts because I can lose hours and avoid the task I was supposed to be doing. Or: I hyperfocus on creative projects. It can be useful, but I forget to stop and then end up exhausted. No shame here. The goal is not to judge the hyperfocus. The goal is to understand where your attention locks, what it costs, and what boundaries could help. And if someone else names the same hyperfocus pattern, reply to them. Sometimes it’s useful to realise other people also have “I only meant to spend five minutes on this” moments that turn into three hours.

In this lesson, we looked at emotional regulation. This is one of the ADHD patterns people often misunderstand. Because from the outside, it can look like overreacting. Snapping. Shutting down. Crying. Spiralling. Getting defensive. Feeling rejected. Feeling overwhelmed. Taking things personally. Getting stuck in shame after a mistake. But underneath, it is often more accurate to say: The emotion arrived fast, hit hard, and took longer to settle. That does not mean the behaviour never matters. Of course it does. But shame alone rarely helps someone regulate better. What helps is learning the pattern. What are the early signs? What are the triggers? What does your body do first? What makes it worse? What helps you come back down? What repair is needed afterwards? The goal is not to become calm all the time. The goal is to notice sooner, create space, lower the intensity, and repair when needed. Your turn 💬 What emotion tends to hit hardest for you, and what helps you come back down? You could share: - anger - shame - anxiety - rejection - overwhelm - frustration - sadness - excitement - guilt - embarrassment And then add one thing that helps, even slightly. Example: Anger hits hardest for me. What helps is stepping away for ten minutes before I reply, because if I respond straight away I usually make it worse. Or: Shame hits hardest. One small thing that helps is writing down what actually happened instead of letting my brain turn it into “I always mess everything up.” No need to share anything too personal. Just name the emotion and one thing that helps you come back down. And if someone else shares something you relate to, reply with support. A lot of people carry shame around emotional reactions, and being understood can make a real difference.

In this lesson, we looked at working memory. Think of working memory like your brain’s mental scratchpad. It helps you hold information in mind while you’re using it. That might be remembering why you walked into a room, keeping track of what someone just told you, holding onto a thought while you’re speaking, or remembering the next step in a task. With ADHD, that scratchpad can get overloaded quickly. One distraction. One interruption. One new thought. One emotion. One notification. And suddenly the thing you were holding in mind is gone. This is why you can genuinely care about something and still forget it. It’s also why “just remember it” is not always realistic advice. A better approach is to get important information out of your head and into something you can see. Notes. Reminders. Alarms. Checklists. Whiteboards. Voice memos. Messages to yourself. That isn’t weakness. That’s external working memory. Your turn 💬 What is the most frustrating working memory moment that keeps happening in your life? You could share: - forgetting why you walked into a room - losing your train of thought - forgetting messages or replies - misplacing things constantly - needing instructions repeated - forgetting what you were about to do - forgetting something important even though you cared about it Example: The most frustrating one for me is opening my phone to do one thing, getting distracted by something else, then forgetting what I picked it up for. Or: I lose my train of thought mid-sentence all the time, then feel embarrassed because I can’t get it back. No need to write loads. Just share the working memory struggle that feels most familiar. And if someone else’s answer sounds like your brain, reply to them. These moments can feel embarrassing until you realise how common they are.

In this lesson, we looked at the ADHD Iceberg. The idea is simple: People often judge the bit they can see. The lateness. The forgetting. The unfinished tasks. The emotional reactions. The mess. The inconsistency. The distractions. But they don’t always see what’s happening underneath. The shame. The overwhelm. The mental noise. The emotional effort. The masking. The low self-trust. The constant feeling that you’re trying harder than it looks. This matters because so many ADHD adults get judged by the visible behaviour, without anyone understanding the hidden effort behind it. And after a while, you can start judging yourself the same way. You only see what didn’t get done. You forget how much energy you spent trying to hold everything together. Your turn 💬 What’s one thing underneath your ADHD iceberg that people in your life don’t really see or understand? You could share: - something you hide or mask - something that takes more effort than people realise - something people misinterpret - something you wish others understood better - something you’ve blamed yourself for Example: People see me being late, but they don’t see the panic, time confusion, and mental chaos that happens before I even leave the house. Or: People see me forgetting things, but they don’t see how much shame I feel when I realise I’ve let someone down again. Only share what you’re comfortable sharing. And if someone else’s comment feels familiar, reply to them. Sometimes being understood by people who genuinely get it can take some of the weight off.