Amen 🙏🏼

Okay gents, I’ve been putting some serious thought into this one. So many things crossed my mind in the past 24 hours but, I believe I can answer it now… The thought I’ve been rehearsing that keeps me on the edge of the bridge is… No matter how much I grow or have grown, I always seem to eventually self-destruct. Success, relationships, career, love, confidence, none of it seems to stick? Long term anyways. So, I think subconsciously I’ve been telling myself that at some point, I’ll lose it again? I’ve climbed fast, fallen hard, rebuilt, then watched parts of it slip away and have fallen hard again. Over and over. Rinse repeat… I feel that maybe this keeps me alert, but it also keeps me stuck on that ledge, half in and half out of life, never fully committing because I’m bracing for impact maybe? The better thought I’m thinking would be, my past proves I can survive, not that I’m doomed to repeat it. I don’t need to be perfect or fearless to move forward, I just need to stay present and choose differently, one step at a time. And, I’ve been telling myself that I didn’t just lose “things” but, I’ve outlived versions of myself that couldn’t hold them yet? I’m super thankful for this group of guys because it’s got my mind shifted to thinking that I can change my future outcomes by being more honest, more self-aware, and more grounded than I’ve been in the past and I’m not trying to outrun the pain with confidence or success anymore and I’m truly starting to believe that I don’t need chaos, collapse, or extremes to feel alive anymore. I’ve been thinking a lot about what Joel said, What if these next steps are going to lead me to the key that breaks my barriers? Pretty powerful thought! Anyways, thanks you to everyone in this group. You all help more than it shows and I’m grateful for each and every one of you… 🙏🏼🙏🏼