Some psychologists and therapists speak about how some people who have been the victim of narcissistic abuse tend to want to stay in that victim hood and ultimately become a narcissist their self. They say they will not be introspective enough to heal. Perhaps they will be the empath and/or codependent and they can switch to becoming a narcissist, as in switch from being the victim to the abuser which is essentially what a narcissist does. What are your thoughts?!? 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻 I do think that sometimes people exposed to abusive behaviour and traumas can stay in a place of victimhood. I know some women who are still suffering years later, alcoholism, ill health, poverty. Not sure they “WANT” to stay that way. I would say they are not sure how to alter and change their circumstances and situation. It is no good just telling people to “move on” or “forget the past” that is not the answer. When a person has experienced some deep trauma through emotional and psychological behaviours inflicted by the person they loved it has a deep hurt that can cause what is known as post traumatic stress disorders. (Personal Injuries) I know how I felt in 2018 when my now ex confessed to meeting with another woman while he was in the UK. I studied some personal development materials while I suffered #panicattacks, sleepless nights, pains in my body, then one day I woke up and said to myself, “I’m killing myself slowly” and I was. My thoughts were causing me stress and ill-health. Look at the word “disease” dis-ease. When you are in a place of dis ease your energy is low, your thoughts are uncertainty, fear, shame, grief. To feel better you have to make a decision to move away from the negative thoughts, to regain positivity, to regain strengths you had before, to rebuild yourself. No one else can help you, only you can help yourself. First make the decision for change, then take the actions, the small steps, towards the person you want to be. Either the victor or the victim it’s your choice.

There’s nothing worse than putting in the effort to get a client… Taking their money… But failing to get them the outcome they want. Because you get: * Clients complaining… (“your coaching doesn’t work”) * Public criticism… (bad reviews can ruin your reputation overnight) * And refund requests (can be financially demoralising for coaches just getting started.) Ask me how I know :-) When I first started coaching in 1999 I had no idea what I was doing. People thought I was a joke. Who was this young guy who works at a gym trying to pretend he’s a relationship coach?! Who does he think he is?? What a fool. Even my “friends” didn’t take me seriously. One night crying into bowls of cereal I nearly quit. But something told me to keep going: I knew deep down I could help people. So I started getting any coaching qualification and certification I could get my hands on. Over the past 20 years… I’ve spent £536,300 on coaching qualifications. Yes… half a million pounds! I then took the best stuff… And created my own coaching methodology. * This coaching method allowed me to help a hardcore smoker quit instantly… …even though I’d never personally smoked a cigarette in my life. * The method helped me become a sought after women’s weight loss coach… …even though I’ve never been a woman :-) * And it helped me become an in-demand relationship coach… …even though at the time I wasn’t in a relationship! Point being… The biggest problem in the coaching market today is… NOT Being Able To Generate Client Results! Most coaches have taken over-complicated coaching certifications. So they have a certificate sitting on their desk… But they still lack confidence when it comes to working with paying clients. What I’ve found is… Any coach can transform themselves from amateur to true professional when they: 1. Stop trying to remember theory and "techniques" 2. Start following a proven methodology that's been tested on thousands of clients 3. Watch an experienced coach handle real client situations

Sharing your story can be one of the most impactful ways to connect with your clients, but how much and how you share really matters. Here are a few guiding thoughts: When it’s powerful: - It’s intentional – You’re sharing to inspire, educate, or build trust, not just to unload. - It’s integrated – Your story is woven into a bigger message or lesson your clients can take away. - It’s processed – You’ve already done your healing, or enough of it, so you're not sharing from an open wound - It empowers your clients – They feel seen, not burdened; uplifted, not overwhelmed. When it can be “too much”: - It’s unfiltered or unresolved – If it feels like venting or emotionally raw, your clients might not know how to hold it. - There’s no takeaway – If it's shared without purpose or application, it can feel more like a personal journal than a teaching moment. - It overshadows them – If it becomes all about your experience, your clients may struggle to see themselves in the message. - It triggers without warning – Especially in trauma-informed spaces, too much detail without care can re-traumatise others. The sweet spot? Share from your scars, not your wounds.Let your story be a bridge, not the whole focus. The gold is in showing them what is possible.

I’m working with a new client group age 45+ and the topic of assumptions and abuse came up this week. Assumptions can be a quiet weapon in abuse. People often assume that if you stayed, it wasn’t “that bad.”They assume you were weak.They assume you could have just left.They assume they would’ve handled it differently.But assumption is a form of ignorance and sometimes, it becomes part of the abuse itself. Also when assumptions turn inward, they often become self-accusations, and that can be just as damaging as external abuse, leading to anxiety, low self-worth, shame and guilt. In abusive dynamics, assumptions: - Silence victims - Shame survivors - And protect perpetrators Assumptions stop people from asking real questions.They keep systems blind.And they make healing harder for those who’ve already been through enough. Assumptions are not truth. And they are not harmless, instead they can be harmful. If you don’t know someone’s story, don’t fill in the gaps, hold space instead. Because behind every assumption is a real person who deserves to be seen, heard and believed. Assumptions are someone else’s insecurity. Women over 45, have lived enough life to know this: People will assume.They’ll assume who you are, what you’ve done, what you should’ve done, what they think you have done, what you’ve said, what you didn’t say, what they think you have said and what you’re capable of without ever knowing your story. But here’s what I’ve learned and what I teach the women I work with: Assumptions are rooted in someone else’s limited view and not your reality.They are often the voice of low self-esteem, fear, or even jealousy. And we don’t need to make room for any of that. At this stage in life, we don’t chase validation.We move with clarity.We heal, we rise and we walk in unapologetic truth. I concluded our group session with, let them assume. While they’re busy making up stories, you’ll be busy living your best life and fulfilling your purpose. But here’s the truth: I used to question assumptions, question my truth and my reality. My ex husband’s family always sided with him, Perhaps she did this or said A, B or C. He couldn’t possibly be as she said.

Yep… This is not a drill! On Saturday’s live session… I’m going to show you: * How to land $1,500+ clients WITHOUT posting on social media * The automated system that books calls on your calendar while you're busy working with clients or just out living life * And how to add an extra $20k-$100k per month to your coaching business PLUS… I'm also going to share how you can get the COA System Training for FREE to speed up the process. Can I get a hell yeaaaaa! This is the same system 1,000s of coaches have used to grow their business FAST… …even when everyone else told them they “have to” post content on social media to get clients. But you know what? WE DON’T PLAY BY THOSE RULES! Because the reality is… Your perfect clients are OVERWHELMED with content. They’re suffocating in information. And they are DROWNING in all the different options out there to solve their problem. So when you promote your coaching with: - A low budget paid post that speaks to your client’s specific problem - A PDF download that educates them on you and your method - And a low-key consultation call that sets up the sale…? You can quickly start signing clients every week for $1,500+ EACH… And you can experience life as a fully booked coach WITHOUT needing: - An audience - A big budget - "Authority" status - Or anything "ready" to start landing clients All the training you need is inside the COA System… (which currently sells for $1,999…) But I’ll show you how to access it for FREE if you join me on Saturday