This week has been rough. This month has been rough. Words said, actions taken - mostly by family members who don’t understand the long-term effects of narcissistic abuse - have left me feeling somewhat vulnerable. One thing I learned while in a narcissistic relationship was that my family didn’t understand my behavior or decisions. They didn’t hold back their judgment either. Even after I left, the effects of over 20 years in an unhealthy environment still dictated many of my choices. I lived in survival mode - hypervigilant, stressed, and constantly walking on eggshells. As a single parent, I then faced an exhausting and expensive court battle with an ex who refused resolution, only seeking to maintain control. And yet, somehow, I found an inner strength I didn’t know existed. The hardest decision was leaving, but I quickly found out leaving was only the beginning - if you wanted to do the healing to stop the cycle of trauma. Here’s the truth: unless someone has lived it, they don’t really get it. Sometimes, the narcissistic or emotionally unavailable person is a family member - a parent, sibling, or even a grandparent. When that’s the case, we may have been navigating that dynamic for our entire lives. It rewires our brains. It impacts how we see the world, and how we see ourselves. Trauma doesn’t always come from big, obvious moments. It can be subtle - the dismissive tone, the “be quiet” when your tried to speak, the way your feelings were brushed aside. And when we grow up adapting ourselves to “fit” into the family, we often lose sight of our authentic self. The truth is, you can’t always heal in the same environment that broke you. My greatest breakthroughs didn’t come from my physical family. They came from my soul family - the people who had walked a similar road and could say, “I’ve been there, I get it.” These connections weren’t about comparing pain, but about sharing tools, hope, and real-life ways to get through another day. They helped me see that healing sometimes means boundaries… and sometimes means distance.

Thanks to everyone who attended the Clutter Clearing Zoom this week! The replay will be posted soon in the Classroom “Let’s Talk About…” Module.