My no is sitting in the fact that I had to give up my career that I spent 15+ years building. It feels like letting my baby die. My heart almost feels like it cant handle the loss of it. I can handle all the other loss life has thrown at me, but not this one. My career is my dream as a child and I feel like this healing path is taking that away from me. My passion, my fire. That is my resistance. I cannot let go. I don't want to let go.

@Anthony Rios I'm still trying to figure that out.

I do a prayer every morning and honor the 4 directions but some mornings I forget. I am committing this week to do it every day and leave an offering to the spirits along with this daily challenge.

@Anthony Rios I usually put mixed berries, bread, milk or honey outside on the table. Sometimes I clear a spot on my desk in my room by the window and put it there.

In the meditation I saw a man with blue skin, he looked like ice, he was holding a violet purple light in his hands, like he was giving it to me. I asked what it wants and the word "consistency" came to me. I'm a bit confused about the gift though. My healing gift is intuition when I did the ceremony. But when I did the meditation, the words seeing and energy reading came to me. Should I only be focusing on one gift?

"Why do I actually want to be a healer?" Oh boy, this is my answer and it sounds so harsh but it is my truth. I don't want to be a healer. I never wanted to be a healer. I still resist the calling. I hate that this is my path. I feel this decision was made for me and I don't have a choice. Even if I turn my back on this calling, the spirits will not let me. Trust me, I've tried!! I am supposed to feel honored and sacred and humble, yet, I feel like it isn't fair. I know this is my ego. I know my ego is hurt. My life has turned out completely different than what I wanted it to look like. That's the honest answer. I feel shame for feeling this way because I know it is who I am. I know it is my calling. It's just been the most difficult path and initiation for me and I hope to someday fully accept who I am.

I am most ungrounded when I feel other people's emotions and when I am caught up in my dreaming, as I call it. Which means I am in the mind, not the body. Today was a big step for me. I work at a school and the teacher came barging in the door to have a talk with a student about expectations. I felt so much anger in my body and I partially thought it was mine. Now that I've had a chance to look back, it wasn't my anger at all. It was hers. I was just absorbing it. I became aware of how I was feeling as she was talking and tried my best to sit with the emotion. Now I will use the grounding technique to let it go. Thank you!!