The Courage to Rise (Perilous Missteps, part 3 finale)
My mind swims in confounded oblivion clinging to Mother's reassuring voice, soothing warmth, and comforting thrum. Aches and relief crash into me like waves until a chilled consciousness stirs me. Familiar smells surround me: musty wood beams, stale straw, burning oil, old leather, precious metal, and Mother. But I don't feel her warmth or thrum. My bleary eyes open to the lantern that lights up the loft. A luxury for us as Mother doesn't want light to let others know where we live. Mother? I call out in mind and voice, it sounds weaker than usual. I hate this. I lift my head and swivel my gaze peering about the whole of the barn. I don't see her but I smell her. Looking down I realizes she draped her shawl around me, wrapped something over my head, and left her bag to the side. My head aches and I close my eyes trying to block it out until it dawns on me. My eyes snap back to the abandoned bag. Mother... left it?? She never goes without it! Never leaves it behind! It may as well be her first child - but there it is, just left haplessly on the loft floor. Shifting and creaking boards snap my attention to the window Mother has been using for a door. Mother worries that each snowfall will make the main doors hard to open and the cold harder to keep out. She latches the window shut and turns to me holding a bundle her clouds of breath dispersing as she adjusts to the warmth. "Precious!" She coos in a voice that makes me both cringe and relieved as she charges toward me quickly ascending the ladder. Mother scoops me up and holds me close and I sink into her, holding onto her tighter than usual. It's so rare to see her more clearly without her shawl hiding her and the darkness obscuring her. This is Mother. Carmel coated with warm soot capping each extremity, I melt into her yearning for comfort and balm. Mother hums her lullaby as she tends to me, feeding me, and soothing me. She added herbs to the savory meat that dull the pain and ointment to my bound wound. Her touch is gentle and deliberate, and though she hides it under her calm. I sense her worry.