Hello, I was encouraged to write something to the Community section. I'm new and quite nervous to post things so publicly. We live in a small, rural town where gossip can do wonders (in that people care) as well as damage. I don't ever want to say something that makes it harder for our 3 angry children to heal and be open to talking with us again. I also never spend this kind of money on myself and we aren't rich people. We had 8 children. Our 22 year old died of cancer June 4, 2025, one day after our grandson's first birthday and 2 days before my birthday. Meagan was a uniquely positive person that focused on helping others as a 911 dispatcher and friend to so many. She was huge in our community. But her attitude made it easier to accept how God might be working through even this. One of our adult children got mad at us at the funeral and 2 brothers decided to join her in not speaking to us and assuming the worst about us. How can we know what is the problem or explain our perspectives if we can't talk? There is one child in the home and the other 3 adult children all have come to talk with us and understand things, but our angry daughter's home is where "whatever" can happen, so they go there instead of to us. The oldest prefers to stay out of all of it. Our family is so fractured right now, but honestly, we were starting to have some communication issues as they graduated every 2 years (I've been hard of hearing but now have cochlear implants so now can use the phone but struggle to know what to say if I call). I have struggled to accept their choices (living together, drinking, etc), and make small talk and I think that's something I have to work on from MY perspective, not to fix them. Our church, which we've been so committed to for so many years became horrendous when a new pastor determined to clean up membership roles just as our adult children were dealing with their sister dying. My husband as an elder fought against removing the 3 (now mad) children from the roles since they weren't attending there anymore, but IDK if they know that. We told the one who had a child, but the other 2 won't even talk.

My daughter called today asking for advice about opportunity to change jobs. Instead of quick questions and my thoughts, I asked what she was thinking and why. I then said I think you know the answer. She said just talking about it out loud I figured it out. She sounded so confident in her ability- just because I kept my mouth shut- lol

Warning…This is a long one! I am not offended if you don’t read all. My middle daughter and I are in Orlando. I am so grateful for the modules 1-3 and Catherine lecture Tuesday May 5th! Day 1 “I put my ears on”. My daughter stressed with her work that she literally arrived at our long planned Disney restbit “unhinged” and disrespectful to the workers at the airport when she picked me up. She had an arrogant, I deserve everything attitude. We got into the car and she continued ranting. I just paused until the rant was over. Then I just parroted back “It sounds like to me your trip here was very stressful and you didn’t stop a long way and make sure that you had meals or even water am I right?” she agreed. Then I said how about we solve that problem first what are you hungry for? Day 2 As we we’re entering Universal Epoch Studios, She became unhinged again. This time the rant went in for longer and when it was over I paused again. This time I was box breathing because of the rant was personal. ( ignoring the personal insults of my adopted 33-year-old) What came out was, “ so what I hear you saying is that your job is so stressful that you feel like you have no place of peace?” she said yes, then I responded with “ Have you considered what options you’d like to take with that?” she calmed down and I did my best to give her space to think. She spun up two more times in the park. And I used the same tactic. I did eventually fail. And at the end of the evening, when she dressed me down for in the line to the bathroom “Didn’t you just go to the bathroom 15 minutes ago?” So I lost my resolve at 10pm and said “there’s no need to embarrass me in front of this line of people.” And I walked to find another restroom. And instead of following along behind. She left the park, while I was in the restroom. Without any text message or telling me where she went. It was closing time and she abandoned me. With no way to get to the hotel and not even an address for it. She finally answered the text message and told me she went to the car. I had to ask where the car was and with no signs in the parking she to get walk back to find me.

I am so proud of myself. I have been stewing over how I'm actually going to talk with my daughter and how I'm going to be loving and welcoming with her so that we have a good conversation. (I was thinking I'd need some specific phrases etc. And today she called me on the phone! I have also been scouring the modules looking for help. And I found it in Nurture 6.1= FIXING FOCUSES ON THE PROBLEMS; ENCOURAGEMENT FOCUSES ON STRENGTHS! When I read that, I KNEW that I knew how to do that even with her!. What a breakthrough for me! So, my daughter was telling me that her husband does the laundry for them. "What a man!" I told her that he doesn't have to be macho. She told me more things and in response, I came up with a positive comment about every single thing she brought up. And we both we laughing and talking about the past and the future. She had told me early on in the conversation that she had only about 2 minutes to talk with me. But then SHE kept talking for the next 40 minutes. What a find the above phrase is. If this is the only thing I remember forever about this class, it will be well worth it! I've just struck gold!!! Thank you Catherine!

This community exists for exactly this moment. For the mothers who won't be getting brunch reservations or handmade cards. For the ones who will spend Sunday wondering if their child thought of them at all. You belong here. And you are so deeply not alone. We want to hear from you this week. What would you want another mom in your situation to know she's not alone in feeling? Share it below — your words might be exactly what someone else needs to read today.