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Mental Load Basics

748 members • Free

3 contributions to Mental Load Basics
Paternity Leave
(Question to the men or to the women about their husbands) How much did you or thee father in your life take? How much would you have liked to take (or he)? How much did you have available with what compensation?
2 likes • Apr 26
@Zach Watson hahaha. I made up the term out of necessity. We were venmo-ing so many people at one point. People who would have normally been a part of the village to help. Lol :/
1 like • Apr 27
@Zach Watson That's amazing! We find, that just finding people to look after our son is taxing. The mental load of the initial search, setting up meetings, trial days, and even if someone is the right fit, our son might reject them or take while to warm up. Then the primary parent on that day is left to manage an adult and a toddler, trying to bridge the gap and make the meeting smooth. I can't tell you how many times we paid a babysitter just for one of us to also go to the park with both of them because my son doesn't want the babysitter there. We've sent so many home early...even some of his trusted nannies when was little it was hard for him to sync up at times. When we did have success it was amazing.
How far into the Fair Play Method Are you?
Hearing for first time? Have the book, gathering dust? Started, stopped Read a fair amount, haven’t implemented cards Had 1 talk with cards, and never revisited? Revisiting consistently
1 like • Apr 12
It’s wild. It’s revealing how defensive I can be reading it. “That’s not me!” Inner dialogue type of thoughts. But I’m here for it and hoping to keep an open mind to gleen some insight.
0 likes • Apr 13
For sure.
What part of the world are you here from?
If you’re open to it I’d love to hear what your family looks like too?
1 like • Apr 10
Boston. 1 kid (3.5), living with my spouse. We both are freelance. No childcare and our kid is not in school or any programs. We play hot potato parent all day. Every day is slightly different. A lot of communication around an ever evolving schedule of who is with our kid. My work is more unpredictable than my partner’s, making some weeks very stressful when I need to take last minute work or weekend work. Our kid also goes to bed late 10/11 and wakes up around 7. I work late mornings and at night I order to have large chunks of time with my kid mid day (1-7pm ish) This is hard to find time to be with just my partner. We have no family help and don’t trust anyone to be alone with our kid atm.
1 like • Apr 11
Thanks for responding Zach! We’re not rushing into a program. He’s only 3.5. We are okay with delaying school. We feel sending kids before 4 or 5 is a little rushed for their development in terms of setting him up for a secure attachment.
1-3 of 3
Jeff Ledell
2
10points to level up
@jeff-ledell-1521
I'm jeff. Here to be curious.

Active 8d ago
Joined Apr 10, 2026
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