(TW) I grew up in a Christian household. I went to church every Wednesday and Sunday, was on the worship team, volunteered for Fall Fest and VBS every year, I was on the media team, went to youth conferences, and I helped the children’s pastor and the nursery when needed. But I wasn’t saved. When I was 8 years old something happened to me that tore me away from the Lord for a long time. My cousin, the pastor’s son, raped me. He was living with us at the time, for about 6 months, and that season of my life was full of fear and pain. Then, another cousin of mine raped me at age 10. I never spoke up until I was 14 and no one believed me. So my anger towards God only grew stronger. By 17 I was diagnosed with MDD, Anxiety Disorder, Anorexia, and Insomnia. I self-harmed and tried to kill myself. When I was a senior in HS, I was under 80lbs and would pass out sometimes. I was prescribed anti-depressants but they didn’t work, and the side effects made everything worse. I knew then that my situation was hopeless and that God was the only thing that could save me. One night I was crying after another failed attempt and God’s presence filled my room. I wasn’t praying- I wasn’t even seeking God at all. But He still showed up for me. I was laying in bed, facing the wall, and I could feel something as if someone were physically holding me in their arms. Everything calmed down and that peaceful feeling stayed until I fell asleep. Years later, at 21, I was finally seeking God with all my heart. One night as I was worshipping in my dorm, and I felt God’s presence. The next morning I went to Chapel. There was an altar call and I felt a tug so I went and I got on my knees, praying to God that one day I’ll feel okay again. That He would make a way. Then a woman came and prayed for me. I didn’t know her, but she called out my depression and anxiety and rebuked it in Jesus’ name. At that moment I felt like I needed to physically surrender, so I placed my hands on the ground. Immediately I felt a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders that I didn’t know was there. I was filled with the Spirit. God spoke to me: “You’re made new because you put your faith in Me alone.” I was also given the spiritual gift of healing that day. Since then I have never struggled with feelings of depression or anxiety; I have not harmed myself or even thought about ending my life.