I was literally just about to get on here and do a check in with everyone as well lol Great minds think alike ig. What a heavy topic indeed, I know you’ve mentioned it to me before and I still stand by what I said. This kind of trauma is one that tends to have long lasting affects, heck it seems like every week I learn of another thing that is a side effect/lasting impact from my own sexual trauma. I actually have no idea how people heal from it without Abba cause like what is hope if not for Him y’know? Anyways glad to hear you are in good spirits about your future husband oddly enough he has popped in my mind once or twice this week but I always feel a bit akward to pray for him idk I shall work on getting over myself cause prayer isn’t about me. How am I doing? Best I can describe it is I feel bipolar(I know ai’m not and am in good mental health) but it seems like I have really high highs then quickly drop to really low lows every few days I’m content then I’m lonely I’m sad then I’m dancing like drunk college girl at a frat party(which is just how I dance normally ngl) I feel completely in control and on board with the path Abba laid out for me then I see a metaphorical squirrel and chase it for a few miles… I think I’ve made my point😂 I keep wanting to hope for something to change and get better but I’m too scared to let myself have that kind of unethical joy when all my mind is telling me is that I will be here forever because the odds of this guy randomly showing up for me are slim to none~sorry if this wasn’t fully cohesive I have a pretty bad migraine and can barely see and think straight but I did want to add to everyone I know in this group I want you to know that the Holy Spirit does put you guys on my heart to pray for and I really pray you all are walking so closely with Him in these days Lord knows we can’t see two steps ahead without His light👋toodles

Not only are these encouraging but I just love those words So whimsical and fun to say Ty

been feeling like I’m frozen in time. Able to see the things God has promised to me but unable to grasp/go to them~so close and yet so far is a saying that has been my genuine reality lately and it lowkey hurts a lot. Like I’m standing in the door way but Abba is telling me to not walk in the room. Also been feeling very physically lonely all day every Dayi have no one but my cats and my niece once in a while to keep me company. I’m at a point where most of my hobbies aren’t even fun anymore so I just lay around or crochet a bit… very bleak times quite frankly. In terms of spiritually it fluctuates Sometimes I am left completely alone and in peace other times I am being crushed by the weight of attacks(it’s very much centered around two situations) if I’m feeling good/encouraged/hopeful about these two things then the attacks are attempting to crush my spirits and bring disarray to my mind.

Will continue to keep you and him in my prayers🫂

Thank you for letting us know That could cause some weird kerfuffles for sure