My new main character identity is a successful business owner, that consistently partners with collaborative clients on impactful projects.

I recorded a 60-second video of myself talking about last week and what’s new with my work. I could definitely work on my eye contact and the ums. Slowing down, looking away and even closing eyes can help with speaking clearly but then it doesn’t come across as confident in my opinion. If I were prepping for something formal or professional speaking, I would write out my script in advance. Even if I veer away from the script, I prefer thinking through what I want to say in advance. Otherwise, I tend to be longwinded and rambly. I think this comes from processing what I want to say in real time as I’m trying to express myself articulately.

Today, I tried the exercises outlined in THE NPC AUDIT Namely, when I woke up today I fought the urge to reach for my phone and scroll emails or social media. Instead I turned off my alarm, and check in with my own mind for a couple minutes of quiet time. Said my intentions for today in my mind. It helped me have a calmer morning!

I've been on stages for over 20 years. And I want to be honest with you about something, it was not a straight climb upward. There were big wins, yes. But there were also very public failures. Bouts of real shame. Moments where I missed the mark badly enough that I had to sit quietly with a question I didn't want to answer: Am I actually built for this? I want to talk about that question specifically, because I think if you're wired the way I'm wired... observant, internal, introverted, someone who processes deeply and feels things more than you let on, failure doesn't just sting. It tends to confirm a story you've already been quietly telling yourself. That you're not quite enough. The people who make it look effortless must have something you don't. Maybe you should have waited until you were more ready. That shame spiral is a particular kind of trap for people like us. Because we're already doing more internal work than most people realize, and when something goes wrong in public, it doesn't just sit on the surface. It goes deep. It gets absorbed. And it can stay there for a long time if you don't know how to work with it. Here's what I eventually learned...not from a book, but from actually failing repeatedly on stages, in front of people, and having to figure out how to come back. Failure, when you don't let it finish you, strips your ego down to something more useful. It teaches you how to listen without defending yourself. How to take feedback without collapsing or shutting down. How to look at what went wrong with enough honesty to actually fix it. That capacity... to stay open when everything in you wants to contract... that became the foundation of what I now call magnetic confidence. And I want to be clear about what I mean by that, because it's different from what most people teach. Magnetic confidence is not the belief that you won't fail. It's not performing certainty you don't feel. It's not telling yourself you're the best in the room. For people who are quiet by nature, that kind of performed confidence doesn't just feel fake — it feels like a betrayal of who you actually are. And it never holds up under real pressure because it was never real to begin with.

Where have I been an NPC? I’d say waking up and letting the flow of the day carry me without being thoughtful about taking my time. I get into the rush even though I know that slower, more deliberate and intentional actions will make me more effective. It’s partially I think about working as a way of avoiding… I can be more thoughtful about my time and how I can be of service to others as I move throughout my daily routine.