The 'only' word you're probably misplacing every single day, Albert - It is a truth, universally, acknowledged, that a misplaced adverb is the mark of a linguistic savage, Stephen - Surely you overstate the matter? I merely remarked that John only spoke to Mary yesterday. Albert - Well, then you suggest a physiological marvel. To say he 'only spoke' implies he performed no other human function. - that he failed to eat, breathe, or even blink -- and did nothing but utter words for twenty-four hours. Stephen - Well, you know perfectly well I meant he ignored the remainder of the assembly. Albert - Well, then you should have said he spoke only to Mary. You must treat the word 'only' like a duchess at a dinner party -- she must sit precisely next to the person whom she intends to influence. Stephen - And if i were to say, 'John spoke to Mary only yesterday'? Albert - Well, then you are merely obsessed with the calender. You imply the poor man has been silent since the regency and finally found his voice on Tuesday. Stephen - Heavens. It seems my syntax is as clumsy as John's courtship. Albert - Precisely. It appears you have only a passing aquaintance with your mother tongue.