This time last year, I was in the Brojo Brotherhood hotseat, digging into an age-old question: is it possible to maintain my integrity in a romantic relationship? My fledging state of wholeness was hard-won: I had recently overcome bipolar, after an intensive, self-prescribed mental health bootcamp Brojo-style. I was single, so my relationship question was theoretical but hopeful. A year later, my question is still burning but very much a reality, so I’m back in Brojoland to help me navigate this challenging terrain. After thirty years of avoiding interpersonal discomfort and complexity, training myself to sustain healthy boundaries in the face of love that turns me to mush calls for some industrial-strength support. When the stakes are high, 1:1 coaching with Dan is the best tool for the job and well worth the investment. In just one session, his expertise efficiently cut through the noise in my head to the heart of the issue, leaving plenty of time for constructive reframing and practical steps - reminding my why I trust this dude with my life. If you’re interested in my story of how thirty years of bipolar type two + two months of Dan Munro = no more bipolar, my memoir The Integrity Cure has just been released. You can get your dose in paperback, ebook or audio at donellemckinley.com/memoir-bipolar/

Hey Army, Since my last post On top of the world in Istanbul, I’ve travelled across to Ireland for a literary festival, and down to Southeast Asia for a spiritual fix. I’m writing from Da Lat in Vietnam’s Central Highlands, a region of hills, pine forests, Buddhist temples, lakes and waterfalls. Next stop: Thailand. I’ve been fortunate to meet some interesting people in my travels, and discovered that the universal language of honesty is very forgiving of limited vocabulary and dodgy grammar on both sides. Even if I’m just passing through for a few days, genuine connection is possible within minutes when we are curious, skip the small talk, and are willing to share who we truly are. I’ve also been connecting with people around the world working in the mental health space, where the power of honesty for healing and recovery is without boundaries. Advance copies of my forthcoming book The Integrity Cure are now in the hands of mental health advocates, spreading the message that honesty is all it took to set me free from illness. I’ve been working through the Brojo course on Building Rapport, which – typically – is giving my assumptions a hiding. I’ve been a consultant in one form or another for much of my professional life, and wore my ability to build rapport like a badge of pride. Well, you know what they say about pride… It turns out that all the while I’ve been great at building professional rapport, I’ve been a bit rubbish in the personal arena, largely due to using my interview techniques as a conversation style. The good news is, now I know what to do about it. It takes practice, but there’s a whole world of people out there.

Six months ago, I introduced myself on Skool as an Integrity Army Soldier reporting for duty. Today I became a Major, and was reminded of how far I’ve come since I first heard Dan explaining powerful honesty. For those of you who aren’t familiar with my journey, I shared my radical transformation here in a series of blog posts. Long story short, when I met Dan I had suffered with Bipolar Disorder Type II for 30 years. Two months later, after an intensive, self-prescribed Brojo Bootcamp, I walked away fully recovered from an ‘incurable’ mental illness. If you’re curious about the long story long, my book The Integrity Cure will be published later this year. Today I’m checking in to say thanks to Dan and this community for the ongoing support, and to share a few highlights from the top of world. I’m literally on the top floor of an apartment building overlooking the Bosphorus and the architectural wonders of Istanbul, listening to the incredible sound of the call to prayer from the 30 minarets I can count and more. Since I started out as a Soldier, I have changed from someone who hesitated to leave the house to someone who is travelling the world with confidence. I have walked away from poor fit connections, and replaced a strategy of avoidance with an open heart and an eagerness to meet new people. I have returned to my vocation in publishing, after working in a space that paid good money at the expense of my soul. None of this was easy. Getting here involved a serious investment of time, effort, courage, and tears. I read Dan’s books, listened to podcasts, and had one-on-one coaching. I completed Brojo courses, participated in Brotherhood sessions, and connected with fellow recruits. My Word doc of Brojo notes is 23,000 words and counting, as I continue to learn. The most important thing I did was put the learning into practice, every step of the way. As I live by my values every day, I am discovering that there is a lot less room for fear when you’re laser focused on honesty, integrity, and self-respect because the quality of your life depends on it. Life is good, and wildly different. Onward.

I’ve long been a fan of New Year resolutions, but this year I’m taking a bolder approach to change with a mid-life reset. I'm armed with a suitcase, a one-way ticket to Istanbul, and a world of possibility. Over the past few months, with Brojo guns blazing, I’ve cleared the runway of the major obstacles that were stopping me from flying and thriving: a harmful relationship, toxic work culture, and mental illness. I’m ready to hit the skies in 2025 with an open heart, an open mind, and uncompromising integrity. Having worked my way through several Brojo courses to get to this point, it’s exciting to continue learning from a more positive baseline. Now that I’ve shut down the mental gymnastics that comes with dishonesty, I have head space to think more creatively about a lifestyle that reflects my values. At the same time, improved self-confidence means I don’t need to plan ahead like I used to, and can appreciate the richness of the present as I explore my options. I’m curious about the decisions I will make from a solid foundation of self-respect and healthy boundaries, and the people I will attract with powerful honesty. I hope the new year looks promising for you too.

How many of the ideas for courageous decisions first come into the world disguised as a joke? A joke is a way of voicing a deep desire, before we’ve fully realised it. A joke is low stakes - no one expects you to follow through. It’s a way of subconsciously seeking feedback from others as your brain is quietly bubbling and wondering in the background. Perhaps it’s weak honesty, but it can also be a way of psyching ourselves up. Have you ever joked… “Maybe I should be a…” “Maybe I should tell them that…” “Maybe I should move to…” Ha ha… … and somewhere deep down you know it’s exactly what you would do if only you had the courage? I’ve noticed that I joke in this way, most recently here on Brojo. When I shared that I had just finished writing a book, in which honesty plays the hero, I joked that perhaps Dan and I could establish "Integrity Army Publishing". I didn’t make the connection at the time, but I later realised that behind the “joke”, which was positively received, my brain was busy deciding to start my own publishing label. I called myself out. Two days later I took the leap, established Thorndon Press, and claimed the role of Publisher. I have the required skills, but I still had to build a bridge over the fear of failure. I got to the other side by asking myself two questions: Does this idea thrill you and light you up? Will you regret being too scared to try? Hell YES.