If you’re open to it I’d love to hear what your family looks like too?

Mental load is 'just' one of our issues. Admittedly I hadnt heard of the word up until a couple of weeks ago. I have had a huge number of eye-openers since. Trying to do better, lots better, but often stumbling on things I call 'partials': eg packing our son's snackbox for school, having everything covered and then stupidly missing out on the llttle fork for those chunks of fruit. I now have an awful lot more 'mental Post-its' than before, but realize how short I have fallen and just how non-contributing I have been... Our bigger concern is that there was emotional infidelity on my side and resentment on both that and mental load seem to reinforce eachother (not to mention the viciously painful fights). A seeming 'detail' in mental load can sometimes spiral out of control and become the somanieth lets sign the papers cause... I realize I may drift off topic slightly with this. Is there anyone who has similar experience? Ways of constructively and empathetically adressing it? Thanks in advance, have a great weekend.

Usually when I get defensive I am unwilling to feel or communicate one of my emotions. Which of these do you think is the most common one that causes you or your partner to get defensive? Anger- Shame - Guilt - Fear - Lonely - Sad - Hurt -