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This questions seems simple at first glance but the longer you sit with it, the more you might end up staring back at it with more questions than answers. If that is what happens, it is okay. Sometimes it is in moments like this we gain key insights into who we are. We throw the word "love" around a lot but what do we really mean when we say it. Many parents would have variations of meaning but the common theme would be centered on having a strong, positive emotion towards someone you value. As you think about being loved, describe how you will know when it is happening. My last question is this: Is there a difference in being loved and being valued? If so, I would love to hear how you define the differences.

I want to ask you a question: What is the most important to you regarding your relationship with your adult children? I would love to know so please share it here in the community. Thanks!

It is very easy for us to lose sight on what really matters. One of the challenges for us is the familiarity we have with each other. It is easy to take things for granted - habits, traditions, beliefs, etc. - because we have history. You often see that when a child marries or dates someone who sees things through a totally different lens. It is only then that we realize that "our normal" may not be everyone else's normal. The focus we need to prioritize is the relationship and not the issues that so often divide us. In a world of differences, it is easy for people to perceive them as a threat instead of an opportunity. We may not understand how our children shifted or switched in their thinking or beliefs and I know that is challenging on many levels. However, the question is this: Can you love your children whether you understand them or not? I can tell you that your kids know the depth of your love and acceptance so it is important for you to be honest with yourself first before you try to convince them that above all they matter most. We don't have to agree with their thinking to love them. What we do need to recognize is the importance of being laser focused that we love them purely because they are worthy of it. When they were little they would walk in the room and we would smile simply because they existed. Is that how you love your adult children today? Think about it.

When our kids were little, we loved them and they could do nothing for us. Their only job was to be themselves. As they grew, we watched their unique personality unfold and watched them evolve into who they are now. Here is my question: What do you like about them now? I would love to hear what stands out to you now.