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Becoming Brothers Academy
57 members • Free
2 contributions to Becoming Brothers Academy
Jan 20 •
My journey with nicotine
I'd like to make a post addressing something Manu called me into after last week's call when I revealed my struggle with vaping, which has intensified mostly unmitigated the past 5 years. It is something that has weighed particularly heavily on me this past year as I returned to coaching and started carving time out of my mornings for healthier routines. I would meditate and stretch in the morning, then sit and sip tea and vapour while mindlessly reading news articles or job notes for the coming day. I started leaving it at home to prevent abuse during the day, but that revealed how deep the attachment truly was, as I noticed its residence in my mind on the drive home. I would use abuse it mindlessly until bed, and suppress the voice telling me it was affecting my sleep - and instead focus on the other healthy things I was doing to balance the guilt. The group pushed me to identify what would become available for me by redesigning this relationship, and it was very difficult emotionally to finally reveal it into a space where it would be challenged. I think the only person who knew the reality was my partner and even then I was hiding it from her often to control an illusion. But I had faith in my new routines to support me, so I made a commitment to change it. I went the following week without using it once. I was shocked it wasn't more of a challenge. It was difficult, to be certain, but only a fraction as hard as I imagined. Last Sunday we had 35 people in our house, and there were smokers. I chose to consume again to sooth social stress, and I took note of how much more intense the craving got when I was surrounded by people. I said in the call I wanted my relationship with it to mirror that with alcohol. I enjoy it when I choose to, but don't need it every day and understand why I'm doing it when I am. Conscious consumption. A year ago I was inhaling 25+mg of nicotine a day. 6 months ago that was down to 15mg, after leaving it at home during the day. The average over the past 2 weeks would be 1mg/day. That's a 95% reduction since last year.
3 likes • Jan 26
That's certainly a tough addiction to kick. I smoke cigarettes when I travel and I'm around it more. I too struggle with it at times. The more casual the substance the more sneaky and pervasive it can be. Thanks for sharing and good on you for taking care of yourself. ❤️
Aug '25 •
Welcome! Introduce yourself + share a pic of yourself
Let's get to know each other! Comment below sharing where you are in the world, a photo of yourself, and a project you're currently working on, book you're reading, or hobby that you enjoy. ☀️🌲
4 likes • Jan 4
Sup ma dudes, I have popped into a few calls but I haven’t made an intro yet so here goes. First off, I don’t like intros, I am not sure how to sum myself up. I live on the North end of the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State, right across the water from Victoria, with my wife and little baja dog. We moved here 9 months ago from San Diego California but I grew up in the Seattle metro area and still have family there. I spend a lot of time outdoors and I’m an aging adrenaline junkie. I’ve identified as a surfer, skier, snowboarder, mountain biker and whitewater kayaker at different points in my life but these days I am content getting outside in any form for health, connection with nature and getting the dog some exercise. Living on the peninsula is great because we have access to all of these activities but they are not given, you have to work for them and there is no guarantee conditions will line up. Weekends involve packing a surfboard, stand up paddleboard, fishing pole, knife for whittling away boredom and a book. I like that kind of adventure. I am also a novice wood worker and guitar player which have both been inspirational and fun to get into. I am in a transition period of my life. Along with the move, I went through a rough year with my career, getting laid off a couple times from jobs in tech. I was kind of burned out and looking for a change this summer and started working with a friend remodeling a house. It's been really fun working with a bud on a physical project. The mud, sweat and a little blood to build something. It's rewarding but I'm not sure I can physically sustain a construction career full time. I turned 40 last year and old injuries flare up with intense physical labor. I want to start a business this year and explore some ways to fund my relatively modest lifestyle and I’m looking for support on that journey. As for books, right now I am deep into the Last Kingdom Series. It’s escapism, but the main character lives according to the will of the Fates and just does his best with the circumstances he finds himself in. It's something I want to cultivate more of. I also just finished The Attention Economy by Chris Hayes, which is a kind of commentary on social media and culture but it also brought up for me the importance of shared attention from a social standpoint. The sense of belonging that develops from a tribe paying attention to the same ritual. I want more of that too.
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