I came across a reel today that articulated something I see all the time in dating and relationships - especially when anxious attachment and ADHD overlap. At its core, both systems are deeply wired for connection. That’s not a flaw. It’s not a bug. It’s a feature. But here’s where it can get tricky. When connection starts to feel uncertain, the mind doesn’t just care - it locks on. Thoughts loop. The relationship becomes the center of gravity. Every text, pause, tone, or change gets analyzed. For someone with anxious attachment, the nervous system reads uncertainty as threat. For someone with ADHD, attention and emotional energy can hyperfocus, especially on things that matter deeply. Put those together, and dating can start to feel heavy. Rejection feels catastrophic. The stakes feel impossibly high... and instead of being in the relationship, you’re managing the outcome of it. That’s the part from the reel that really landed for me: "The moment you fixate on the outcome, you lose access to flow, intuition, and improvisation." When your energy is locked on making it work, you’re no longer present enough to notice what’s actually happening - how you feel, what you want, whether this connection is nourishing you too. This isn’t about “letting go” in a dismissive wat. It’s about learning to stay with yourself while staying in connection. Because secure relating doesn’t come from controlling the outcome. It comes from trusting that you can handle whatever the outcome is. 💭 Curious to hear from you: Have you noticed moments in dating where caring turned into fixation? What helps you come back into your body and out of your head when that happens?

Who are you and what do you do? My name is Benjamin. I am a strategic development consultant and entrepreneur. I build businesses and help others structure, launch, and grow theirs. Right now I am focused on property services, education products, and wellness projects. Why were you interested in joining this group? I joined to improve focus, execution, and consistency while connecting with people who understand ADHD and business. What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to ADHD or business right now? Staying focused on one priority at a time and following through without jumping to the next idea. Look forward to connectin with y'all!

Soooo.. @James Sopp inspired this post (and no, you can not be a "secret collab", did you learn NOTHING from the movie?? ) We were talking about High School Musical like a normal adults do and you know ... the songs weren’t just catchy they were doing something deeper. “Breaking Free” → permission to expand “What I’ve Been Looking For” → being seen without performing “We’re All in This Together” → co-regulation, belonging, support At its core, the whole soundtrack is about connection, expression, and not having to choose between who you are and where you belong. 💚 Maybe that’s why it hit so hard for so many of us growing up. I know atleast they do to me.. If I am driving to you, you better believe I was screaming Breaking Free on top of my lungs in the car. It wasn’t about being perfect, it was about being allowed. Okay, now I’m curious 👇🎶 Which High School Musical song still lives rent-free in your head - and why? Also for fun.. Were you?