@Elizabeth Winingham that's such a huge win connecting with a counselor! That can feel like such a big hurdle finding one and reaching out, so I hope you're feeling proud that you did that. And that's so understandable that you didn't create an outline to the presentation when you're feeling like you're always trying to play catch up. And honestly, you probably don't need an outline. ❤️ Have you noticed any of those stress responses showing up since watching (fight, flight, freeze/shut down, or fawn)? I actually just taught a class diving into the unconscious programming (what I call "malware") that contributes to that feeling and reality of wanting to do things but feeling like there's never enough time and you can't catch up. It includes lots of pauses for nervous system regulation and reflection, so that you can start experiencing a shift while watching (without needing an outline 😊). You can access it here if you're interested: https://www.lifeboost.today/itsnotyou Wishing you a good start to the weekend! I hope you can give yourself a permission slip to take some time for you.

@Elizabeth Winingham I'm impressed how quickly you watched it! I'm so glad you found it helpful and love that you took notes during it. So many wins in there. 😊

I haven't read that so I'm not sure what their definition of "mental toughness" is, but the word toughness does seem to align with the hustle culture "just push harder" message and a subconscious belief that if you're struggling you're weak, which I think is the opposite of what vets need. We are usually very good at being tough and struggle more with compassion towards ourselves and curiosity about how things could feel better or more doable. Pressure to push through is why we miss the warning signs that happen before burnout. I think it's more about mental flexibility than toughness. Instead of just pushing through, I like to think of the 3 C's (compassion, curiosity, and connection). 🔹Compassion - towards ourselves, our body (and what it needs to feel supported/function properly), and others (assuming the best, not the worst) 🔹 Curiosity - judgment always leads to dead-ends, curiosity opens the doors to endless possibilities 🔹Connection - staying connected to what we need (body, mind, and heart) instead of just getting caught up in the "shoulds" and also zooming out and looking at the bigger picture and how everything is connected when something is feeling challenging Love the question - it's an important conversation. What are your thoughts as you've been reading it?

@Aaron Shaw sounds like a great live! It's interesting, because in some of the ways you describe toughness I see as compassion. The thing I like about compassion is that it feels energizing and regenerative vs "toughness" feels like it requires a lot of energy. From the compassion lens with the road rage example: I would practice compassion towards both people. For me, if my driving had been unsafe then I could use that to learn and think about what I want to do differently next time and then I can move forward (instead of continuing to beat myself up). For the other driver, I can have compassion that they are clearly in the fight stress response because something in their life is feeling stressful/overwhelming. Maybe they're trying to rush to the hospital to see a family member who is sick (that positive assumption feels good to me). I could absorb that negative energy and be mad at them, but being mad in my car only negatively impacts me. The more compassionate and comfortable thing is to just to let it go and move forward. Same deal with the difficult client. It gets easier to be "tough" when you see that a difficult client = a human in the fight stress response because they feel stressed/overwhelmed/threatened. It's about their internal experience not you. Having compassion for the way our nervous systems work and being able to observe that they're in the fight stress response helps to prevent your own nervous system from also being reactive and going into the fight stress response, too. And from there you can get curious about what may be feeling stressful/overwhelming from their perspective and what would help to re-establish safety vs judging them or getting defensive or feeling drained by their energy. Either way, they definitely require practice! They're all habits and the more you do them, the easier they become.

@Sarah Helman I'll be at VMX, as well! 😊