Do you ever pause and wonder how you arrived at that specific moment? Yesterday, I was sitting in a bathtub in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I felt like shaving my legs. So I did. The water was warm, which felt good against the very crisp morning. I sat there and pondered the feeling of different water on my skin. How did I arrive at a crazy Airbnb in Albuquerque? With four of my five kids! 🤣🥳 No place to call home, just a storage unit key. Yet, I’ve never felt more free. What I’ve blamed, as an undefined root, was actually a deep misalignment with my environment. I’m an emotional authority, and a triple split with an undefined G Center. I had no idea how much my environment impacted my day-to-day feelings. I’ve learned that being an emotional authority means I need lots of time to process decisions, but it’s not just time. It’s clear space to be able to feel. My triple split makes me highly sensitive to the environment and people around me. I feel everything. My undefined G Center causes me to absorb and reflect whatever environment I’m in. When I was in Las Vegas, I felt trapped by the literal brick walls and the chaotic energy in my home. Then we spent four nights at one of my favorite little spots that felt wildly different this time. Avi Resort and Casino is a cool little spot on the Mojave reservation in the southern tip of Nevada. I’ve been there a handful of times to write and relax, but this time with a deeper awareness. I skipped the sad elderly people in the casino, and head to the water. What once held me as peaceful, now felt numb. Sad. But not a normal sad, a deep moaning of Spirit. A tiny coal. The burn of ancestral pain. A legacy behind glass. A culture and rich land, buried beneath bright lights and smoke. And the river flows… Mother knows how to care for herself. I once thought love was gentle and nurturing. An embrace. A child’s laughter. I was only half correct. Love is also a raging force, not to be reckoned with. Love is responsible. Love is sovereign.