25d • General discussion
Happiness is it a choice?
Growing up, even now for that matter, I always heard people say things like "look at everything they have, they must be so happy" or " when I get this or that I'll be happy". Unfortunately, that kind of commentary warped my understanding and perception of what happiness actually is.
I really came to understand this when I brought my first house almost two years ago. I always had the idea in my head that buying a home would be what makes me happy, not totally sure why because hindsight tells me that I was searching for was security. When we exchanged with keys in hand I could hardly contain my excitement, I distinctly remember being in such a pinch me moment I had to stop my other half as we were walking through the door by saying "Babe, wait" and rang the doorbell as if though I was ringing in a new era of my life. I imagined that this feeling of pride and joy was going to last forever, well at least for a year, but it didn't. I lost it within the first few weeks.
I couldn't understand why and quickly went down a mental health spiral because of it, I had to go on a soul searching mission. overtime It dawned on me that it's because I lost a sense of purpose, I had done exactly what I had set out to do 2-3 years ahead of plan and now I had nothing to work toward. I had to seek more because in my mind more will provide me with happiness.
To a certain degree I recognise that as humans we need to be continually working toward a goal because, as the great Tony Robbins says so eloquently, the law of the universe is that what doesn't grow dies. We cannot however, lose sight of where we are. We have to take off the binoculars every so often and look at what is right in front of us, THIS is where happiness is. Happiness is in the PRESENT.
Another Important point about Happiness is that it is nothing more than a fleeting moment. It is, like everything else we experience, a feeling and feelings are impossible to keep ahold of forever. I guess that's what makes them so addictive. Happiness is like water, we can try to grasp it but it will fall through the cracks of our fingers eventually.
Many of you are probably reading this and thinking "yeah, no shit sherlock" but be honest how much of an understanding of this do you actually have? How many of you are stuck with the binoculars on stuck in a loop of chasing and wishing for more believing that that the future gains will bring you your true happiness?
The truth is, those who have absolutely everything and those who have absolutely nothing can both be equally happy. You right now can be happy.
How? By choosing to be present, by looking around seeing what you have actually achieved. By appreciating all the love that you have pouring into you from those nearest and dearest or even just for the fact that you are fortunate enough to have food in your belly, roof over your head and a job that you can go too.
Even if you don't have any of those things you can be happy by appreciating what you have and not focusing on what you don't have.
The reality is, there are people out there that would / are literally risking their lives just to have a slice of what you have.
I know it seems hard to see that right now and that you have a lot of doubt but you have come to this community for a reason. To change your current toolkit to one which will allow you to be a better parent, partner and to create a legacy - what ever that may be for you. So I challenge you, everyday this week just take 5 minutes and CHOOSE happiness. Because yes, Happiness, by and large, can be chosen.
Since my soul searching I make a point of trying to choose happiness everyday and life feels incredible because of it. I dosen't always happen but 70:30 is not a bad ratio by any account.
Let me know how you get on in the comments below.
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Happiness is it a choice?
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