I created this. I created many things. And then I collapsed. Or I broke open. Because to bring art forward, it better be art. It better be a glimpse of my soul, a glimpse of God. And I am not sure it was. Thank you for being here as I ask God about my place, about my art, about my family and about You. I know there are many places to be in the world and it is louder and faster and this. is. slow. and maybe even boring but if you are reading these words, thank you for your bright eyes. I am sorting it out and my promise to myself is that it will be whatever art is in me. And not just another Thing. to keep life Safe. Enough noise.

A story you once had. One that was very true and that you thought would always be that way. A story that was passed down to you. How do you know it was passed down? Because it didn't feel like Love. It wasn't of Love. And now it ISN'T true anymore. How could that be? Because it was supposed to ALWAYS be true!? Post it. Photo Bonus. However big and profound or subtle and curious. And then we can sit in the grand inquiry about what that means about our current stories. MINE: Once I believed that I was only what I looked like. I don't mean to say that I didn't think there was anything else. I was oddly spiritual (for my 10th - ish birthday all I wanted was Catholic stuff) but I didn't see anything beyond what was put in front of me. So I got good grades, the right clothes, car, makeup, I did the things to be loved and belong and try to arrive. But the story was: THAT WAS IT. And unfortunately, despite my drive and persistence, I wasn't the best. (Whoooshhhh, that brings old tears to my ears). And if that's it and you aren't THAT great, WTF? Honestly, if that's the game board and you aren't the winner, you're the loser so why even be here in that hell. It's kinda black and white in the matrix. So, not surprisingly, something cracked. And for me, for whatever reason, it cracked BIG. Like psych ward big. And while we know the psych ward isn't the cradle for that crack, the world still said to me, while cracked wide open - that Yes, pretty much, THAT'S ALL THERE IS. Took me a long time but after a decade and a lot of sparks lighting the path, I realized, I choose what IS. Actually Love chooses what IS and I choose Love. And clothes, car, makeup, money, they are a side note. Like an accessory on this funny game board of 3D life. And my measuring stick, is much different. It isn't even mine. It is Love. So glad to be out of the malls. I was also an excellent Cheer Captain. GO PAPERMAKERS!

Today, I crossed my first up-close chameleon. It was fuzzy and iridescent and dead on the road. I struggled to keep my goldens away while also trying to take a much closer look. Then I ran home to look it up. You can guess what a dead chameleon means.

None of us is a stranger to Old Ways falling away. Like every minute nonstop. Last night's IG gem was the phrase above and I am pointing toward it. Big bow, sister, for opening a Field here. I am often wandering the woods with my carpet bag unsure of where to Go with what surely must be treasures. This feels like a Beginning.