Nov 19 • General discussion
❤️🩹Emotional Neglect & the Nervous System
Many adults who struggle with Hashimoto’s, autoimmunity, chronic stress, anxiety or difficulty trusting others grew up in households where their basic physical needs were met… food, clothes, a roof… but their emotional needs were not😞
This is called emotional neglect and it is, unfortunately, extremely common.
So common, in fact, that many people describe their childhood as “normal” because society has normalized parents being too stressed, exhausted, distracted, or overwhelmed to be emotionally present💼
But for a child, emotional presence is not optional.
Their nervous system is still developing, so they borrow regulation from the adults around them.
When caregivers are not emotionally available, the child has to learn to self-soothe alone, long before they are developmentally ready.
This teaches the child’s body:
“I can only rely on myself. I’m safest when I don’t need anyone.”🏃♀️
Over time, this shapes both the nervous system and the immune system.
🌱 What Emotional Neglect Can Look Like
It doesn’t require abuse or “bad parenting.”
It often looks like a normal childhood from the outside.
Examples include:
- parents who are stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, anxious or burned out
- a home with frequent yelling, tension, or unpredictable emotional climate
- moving often, switching schools or constant instability
- parents frequently changing partners or environments
- caregivers who work too much, are distracted or unavailable
- households where emotions are minimized (“stop crying,” “you’re fine,” “don’t be dramatic”)
- being forced to be independent too early
- taking care of siblings or managing adult emotions (parentification)
- a lack of comfort, attunement or emotional conversation
None of this has to be intentional, it’s often a result of generational patterns, stress or lack of support.
But the child’s body doesn’t interpret these experiences logically.
It interprets them biologically.
🌿How Emotional Neglect Shapes the Body:
When emotional presence is missing, the child’s nervous system quietly learns:
- “I must stay on alert to stay safe.”
- “I need to handle everything myself.”
- “Emotions aren’t safe to express.”
- “Other people can’t be trusted to support me.”
This creates:
- chronic tension
- hypervigilance
- suppressed emotion
- difficulty trusting others
- difficulty feeling safe in connection
- overresponsibility and burnout patterns
- a stress physiology that stays switched “on”
And because the nervous system and immune system develop together, this long-term stress pattern increases:
- inflammation
- hormone disruption
- digestive issues
- gut–immune imbalance
- risk of autoimmune conditions like Hashimoto’s
The mind may forget these patterns… but the body remembers them.
🌺This Is Not About Blaming Parents
Most parents who emotionally neglect their children:
- truly loved them
- provided for their physical needs
- did their best with the tools they had
- were simply overwhelmed or unsupported themselves
This is not about guilt or blame.
It’s about finally understanding why your body feels the way it does.
Because once you understand the pattern,
you can begin to rewire it💜
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❤️🩹Emotional Neglect & the Nervous System
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