Old friends/new friends...loss of friends

Hello everyone, i would love to know how you handle your friends/friendships with the people who deep down think you are nothing but a tinfoilhat-wearer and keep up the polite mondane convo?? Unfortunately non of my friends from childhood followed me down the rabbithole...they even deny the rabbit hole exists. Every time we meet i have all these words in my throat which for the most i swallow down but eventually burst out and i start a discussion about Covid and Vaccination and Bill Gates and the WHO and honestly their views despite all info out there that they actively choose to ignore is not much different than 2020. Despite a little acknowledgement of "the lockdowns" were to harsh its all "well, it was a new situation, they didnt know better!"

Of course they are all double-triple vaxxed and how scary must it be to have that gift that keeps on giving inside of you when you already freaked out over the "virus".

On my birthday i asked my best friend for my b-day wish to talk once to her about Covid without her defenses going up.

It was a truely sad and depressing experiences.

She shutted down how i only know it from parents when their kids confront them with what role they played in their suffering.

And essentially thats what it is; they did play a role in our suffering and they cannot face it.

I simply dont know how to handle them? Beside online connections i did not make a lot of "new" likeminded friends but hanging on to my old one feels so heartbreaking, knowing they will throw me under the bus with the next global crisis.

Did you "break up" with your friends? Do you still try to enlighten them? Do you still wanting them to see you?

The small talk is just killing me...sitting somewhere sipping Aperols and gossipping while the house behind us is burning...i just cant..

Im not their friend anymore and they do not even seem to realise...my heart hurts...

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