Riding the Parenting Wave: A Mini-Class for Moms Name It: When the urge to yell or escape hits, say: "I’m feeling an urge." This shifts you from emotion to logic. Find It: Locate the physical feeling—is it a tight chest or hot face? The Surfboard: Use your breath as an anchor. Don't fight the feeling; just watch it. The 20-Min Rule: Urges peak and fade like waves in 20 mins. You don't have to act; you just have to wait. Ride the wave until it crashes. You are the surfer, not the sea.