I’ve been building an imaginary playground in my mind for my inner child Chicken Little. A playground filled with all her favorite things. The first place she goes is the steam winding through the playground. She’s always been drawn to the water. She takes her shoes off, splashes around in the cool water and looks for frogs and butterflies. In the sky, Chicken Land, the world of her imagination, which she thought was located in the fiery pink and soft lavender clouds around sunset, when there are rays of light shining through. There are lots of art supplies in the playground and canvases. She loves to draw. She draws imaginary characters from Chicken Land like Popcorn, who drives a yellow a Corvette and owns a ketchup factory. She wears her favorite straw hat. There are lots of animals in the playground. Pace, her miniature schnauzer, and Beppo the cockatiel are among them. She doesn’t need much in her playground. She just loves to lay in the soft grass and think and dream. Her imagination is her refuge. In the middle of the playground is a giant tree with purple leaves, her adult self. There is a yellow tree house high in the branches. There are lots of wind chimes with dangling strings with colored glass, glistening in the warm sunlight. There is a Nintendo 64 inside. Her cousins Nick, Joseph , Gregory, and her sister Chelsea are inside playing Mario Party. The tree is learning to be present with Chicken Little, to not abandon her. To give her a steady, unconditional love. Her branches lean down and embrace her inner child, and she can feel the wave of relief as Chicken Little’s entire body relaxes. She’s safe now, and her curiosity can guide her as she soaks up knowledge like a sponge, loving life and learning about the world with awe and wonder in her eyes. The tree has a lot to learn from Chicken Little. 🦋💓🌳

On Saturday Jan 3 @ 7 pm, we’re going to have our second workshop and you are all invited to come! It’s free. The topic this week is “Inner Child: Heal & Play”. We’re going to do inner child visualizations, have carefree fun, and explore our imaginations with creative exercises and games. Bring a photo of yourself as a child so you can visualize them, build them an imaginary playground, and give them the parenting they need. We’re going to have fun, chill vibes. Here’s the zoom link and the website for more info on The Purple Phoenix Collective: trauma survivors healing together through creativity, spirituality, and mutual support. Join our Facebook group as well. Welcome to your tribe 🦋☯️💕 https://us06web.zoom.us/j/85005716222 https://www.thepurplephoenixcollective.org

My trauma used to be a dark hole in my life, sucking everything into the abyss, with black shadow tendrils wrapping around every aspect of my internal life. My beliefs and values themselves were distorted beyond recognition and served to limit me, to keep my authentic self in a box. My voice was silenced and I felt invisible, like I had to constantly prove my existence. I am never enough. I am not safe. I must save everyone. Everyone will leave. Those are the limiting beliefs that kept me in a cage. Ghost voices of my father and abusers whispering to me that I’m nothing, that I need someone else to validate and complete me. But as I’ve said before, trauma can also be a superpower. My inner life is alive with imagination and focused introspective energy. My creativity is a refuge for me, even though the trauma even crept into that, limiting my expression and making me an extreme perfectionist. No matter how hard my C-PTSD tried, it could not dim the light that shines from within, that guides me along my path. The unbelievable strength and resolve that helped me survive also became the fodder for real transformation. We all have a narrative. A story we tell ourselves about our lives. When I finally salt safe, I opened up and started expressing myself and my life became an epic journey of self-discovery, replete with symbols, metaphors, and archetypes. I identified a few distinct characters within me, a process sometimes referred to as “parts work”. I am Chicken Little (my inner child), Wavy Purple (the woman who stood up and reclaimed her life after continuous trauma took her down to her knees. True story— I’ll tell it sometime), and the Purple Phoenix, the newest addition, the woman I am today who can transmute her trauma into wisdom and connection with others. There is also the Fierce Lioness Protector who defends my inner child. This process of defining inner parts has been extremely valuable in reclaiming my narrative. I still live with and will always struggle with C-PTSD. But I’ve done so much work to process and Integrate my trauma and have felt a noticeable change in my life. I still have a lot of work to do, but I feel that I’m ready to help others, to use my knowledge and experience to touch people’s lives and hopefully assist them in also moving forward and finding their voice and purpose.

What time do you usually go to bed im on the east coast & get off work 1130 ish pm

For the upcoming workshop, you will be writing about your personal tree that represents your journey through trauma and healing. You might want to read my blog post about the power of symbols and metaphors in exploring your narrative, as well as the story of my personal tree: https://thepurplephoenixcollective.org/thepowerofsymbolsmetaphors/