This week, we’re practicing one of the most important Love Geek skills: noticing the pattern before trying to fix it. 🔎❤️ Think about your relationships—romantic, family, friendships, or even your relationship with yourself. What is one pattern you’ve noticed lately? Maybe you: ❤️ over-explain when you feel misunderstood ❤️ shut down when conflict gets uncomfortable ❤️ say “yes” when you really want to say “no” ❤️ expect someone to know what you need without saying it ❤️ become defensive when you feel criticized ❤️ keep having the same disagreement in different forms Share yours in the comments. You don’t have to solve it today. Awareness comes before change. And remember: this isn’t about blaming yourself or someone else. It’s about getting curious enough to recognize what keeps repeating. Love Geeks don’t just ask, “What happened?” We ask, “What’s the pattern?” 🤓🔎 — Coach Shavon & The Marriage Pastor

Sometimes the problem isn’t a lack of love. It’s a difference in what you value in love. ❤️ You may value quality time while he values providing. You may value affection while he values stability. You may prioritize family while he prioritizes building for the future. And over time, “You don’t prioritize what I prioritize” can start feeling like “You don’t love me.” But those aren’t always the same thing. In our L.O.V.E. C.O.D.E.™ framework, the “V” represents Values in Love which are the things you prioritize and need in order to feel fulfilled, secure, and connected in a relationship. Understanding those differences can help you stop turning values conflicts into character accusations. But before you can master your L.O.V.E. C.O.D.E., Step 1 is reclaiming your personal agency—learning to understand yourself, take ownership of what belongs to you, and become intentional about how you show up in life and love. That’s why I created Reclaim Her Agency™, my women’s transformation course designed to help you build that foundation. 💗 The Reclaim Her Agency™ Priority Waitlist is now open. Link in bio. 📖 And when you’re ready to go deeper, The L.O.V.E. C.O.D.E. will help you understand your code so you can love yourself and others better. 🔐 Reclaim your agency. Know your code. Love better. www.thelovelab.net #LoveCode #ReclaimHerAgency #ValuesInLove #PersonalAgency #Marriage #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipCoach #CoachShavon #ChristianMarriage

You can genuinely love someone and still miss the mark in how you express it. ❤️ In this video, I explain why understanding how your spouse receives love matters just as much as having good intentions. Subscribe for more conversations about love, relationships, emotional maturity, and healthy marriage. #LOVECODE #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageAdvice #CoachShavon #ReclaimHerAgency #TheMarriagePastor

The second “O” in L.O.V.E. C.O.D.E.™ stands for Ownership Style—the way you tend to handle responsibility when something goes wrong in your relationship. 🔐 You are not responsible for everything wrong in your marriage. But you are responsible for what you keep contributing to it. Ownership is not the same as blame. Some people defend, avoid, control, or blame. Others go in the opposite direction and over-own, rescue, or chronically apologize for things that don’t actually belong to them. Healthy ownership asks: What belongs to me? What doesn’t belong to me? What am I contributing to this pattern? What can I change—even if my spouse refuses to change? Personal agency doesn’t require another person to cooperate before you begin making healthier choices. You can own your behavior without taking responsibility for theirs. You can acknowledge your contribution without accepting all the blame. And you can stop rescuing grown adults from consequences and responsibilities that belong to them. 🎥 Watch: 60 Seconds with Coach Shavon™ — Ownership Style 👉 https://youtu.be/WArD-CUIT9g?is=q-YdHeNy7gfLUcU_ 💗 Love Geek Reflection: When conflict happens, what is your first instinct—own, defend, avoid, control, over-own, rescue, apologize, or blame? And most importantly: What is one thing that actually belongs to YOU that you can choose to do differently? 🔐 Reclaim your agency. Know your code. Love better. From Pain to Promise. Build love you both want to come home to.™