As my 54th birthday approaches in November, I find myself slowing down, and taking stock. I have been doing a lot of deep reflecting lately — not just on where I have been, but on how I appear to others. Is what I truly mean coming across the way I intend it to? That question matters to me, because I want my heart's intention to be clear. I am not a soldier anymore, and I am not a policeman. Those things are hard to switch off. All my life I have been driven to be a certain type of person — a sheepdog, for lack of a better term. I wanted to represent the things I hold dear: goodness, grace, mercy, discipline, humility, and the honesty to admit weakness. But I will be honest: there were times I was performing that role more than living it. I wanted so much to be that person that I sometimes lost sight of who I actually was underneath it. I can walk into a room full of people from any walk of life and adapt. I fit in. But I have come to realise that being able to be everything to everyone can leave you feeling empty inside, because you are not sure what remains when the room empties. Losing my career and my sense of purpose through injuries took a great deal from me, and I am still working hard to answer a simple question: who am I now? It is a journey, and I do not have it figured out yet. I have been in some very dark places in my mind, and I know I can still go there on days when my discipline slips. That is why I am grateful that I can catch myself now, and self-reflect before it goes too far. It is hard some days, but the ability to notice is something I did not always have. Seeing people in this community open up, be vulnerable, and let others see a personal side of them has taught me something important. To do that takes real courage. It is a big deal, and it is hard to do. It made me want to be more honest here, in the hope that sharing my own experience might lift someone else up. That is the purpose I am holding on to now. I will admit something I hate admitting: I am slowing down. I see men ten, fifteen, twenty years younger than me and I catch myself asking why I cannot keep up with them, what is wrong with me. The truth is simpler and harder: nothing is wrong with me. I am slowing down, and I have to accept that. I have also had a great deal of loss to deal with recently, and I do not think I have fully accepted it yet. I have been pushing it away. At some point I will have to face it, and I know that.

Yesterday was my surgeon's appointment, so I kept it light — walks and easy cycling between visits. The win of the week: the surgeon cleared me to continue to train. During training sessions in the last couple of months I did some damage to my scapular muscle and tore it away slightly from my shoulder so working on repairing that and exercise workarounds are planned. Had x-rays taken and scheduled for an ultrasound now, but that won’t happen until after my holiday in the UK, which I’ve been cleared to travel, which is great. Today at 11:30 is the HIIT session. Twenty-minute AMRAP — kettlebell swings, push-ups, air squats, knee raises. Target: eight rounds or more. What was your win this week?"

Hi I’m Vaughan and I’m moving to the summit code from Ollie Ollerton’s other programs where I’ve successfully changed my mindset and my body and wish to carryon with the process I’m glad to meet you all

It was my birthday yesterday - so new year for me and a new start, well a continuation of my journey of self improvement - so glad I joined this course - just need to complete the last one 🫣 - only a few more exercises to do 😁