Mar '25 • General Discussion
Intro
Hello there... 55 yr old man from West Texas, I live in New Hampshire now.... IT geek.
Divorced twice, in my third marriage (10+ years) and about 2 years ago I saw my wife (who lost 160 pounds) buying new clothes everyday and and changing her makeup and working late at the hospital, then going to trips with her girlfriends.
Let me be clear I believe, she is not the cheating type.
But my lizard brain just kept pumping the adrenaline and cortisol and I had tge talk.... didn't go well because I was in such needy nice energy.
I joined a gym and a men's group.. which the community was the best part. I made a lot of mistakes and still do, but I realize... if she cheats on me that is her decision and yes I can make her angry and hurt. But I have to show up with the right container to hold her feelings and pain... but I don't have to personalize it or take it as I am the cause. Also 2 years later I realized... she said it was just her and what she was feeling... I took that and thought it me, she just doesn't realize it. I can fix this.....
I heard somewhere a mantra... "It probably doesn't have anything to do with me."
Men, dig deep and find out who you really are inside and what YOU want in your life. Stay true to yourself and say no thanks every once in a while, in a nice caring way. Also smack her on the butt and wink and just walk away... but most importantly don't expect anything from her... envy and expectations kill attraction. Along with resentment. Start a new chapter in your head... give her grace and more importantly give yourself grace and love.. you deserve it.
I am excited to be here and I have a lot to learn, which I am open to. I am a Christian that likes ti be kinky with my vanilla wife... ugh. Haha.
Thanks for reading this long ass introduction. We all need brothers to talk to.
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Intro
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