🪩 Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius (Beans-style, Redneck Remix)

💬 If you know your chart, tell me what house Sagittarius rules for you — that’s where you’ll feel this the most!

Alright y’all, here’s the deal.

That little planet Mercury? It’s the one that runs your mouth, your messages, your road trips, and your fancy gadgets. And a few times a year, that sucker looks like it’s backin’ up in the sky — like a tractor tryin’ to parallel park with one headlight out.

When that happens, folks start sayin’ and doin’ things they don’t mean, phones go glitchy, tires go flat, and half your texts get lost in the Twilight Zone. But don’t panic — this ain’t the universe tryna ruin your life. It’s just sayin’:

“Slow your roll, sweetheart. Check your work, reread that text, and maybe don’t sign nothin’ new till Mercury stops moonwalkin’.”

Now this one’s in Sagittarius first — that’s the “big dreamer, big mouth, world traveler” sign — then it backs up into Scorpio, the “deep, secret-keepin’, don’t-poke-the-bear” sign.

So at first it’s gonna mess with your opinions, travel plans, and big ideas, and then it’s gonna drag you into the deep emotional mud to find what’s really goin’ on under your skin.

🌽 How It Hits Each Rising Sign (a.k.a. Who’s Gettin’ What Lesson)

Aries Rising – You’re gonna wanna run your mouth, but the universe says “sit your butt down.” Big opinions might come back to bite ya, so think before ya holler.

Taurus Rising – Old money stuff, trust issues, or maybe even a dusty ol’ secret could crawl outta the shed. Don’t go lendin’ or spendin’ ‘til Mercury’s done backin’ up.

Gemini Rising – Your love life or partnerships might sound like a soap opera rerun. Read that text twice before you send it — and don’t assume folks can read your mind.

Cancer Rising – Work’s a bit messy. Emails go missin’, schedules get jumbled, and your body’s like “hey, maybe hydrate?” It’s clean-up season, not hustle season.

Leo Rising – Old flames might text “hey stranger” and you’ll be tempted. Think long and hard, baby. This one’s about joy, fun, and what really fills your cup — not who drains it.

Virgo Rising – Your house, family, or roots might feel like a tornado hit ‘em. Could be time to fix what’s been swept under the rug — or at least patch the screen door of your heart.

Libra Rising – Mercury’s in your talkin’ zone, so words might fly faster than your brain can catch ‘em. Slow down, proofread, and maybe don’t gossip at the hair salon this week.

Scorpio Rising – Watch that wallet, sugar. Unexpected bills or “oops I forgot that subscription” moments might pop up. You’re relearnin’ what you truly value — and it ain’t just cash.

Sagittarius Rising – This one’s all about you. The spotlight’s on your mouth, your plans, and your identity. You’re in a rebrand, baby — just don’t try to do it all before Mercury’s done backin’ up.

Capricorn Rising – You’re deep in your feels and dreams right now. Don’t ignore your gut — it’s tellin’ you what needs fixin’. Rest up; the world can wait ‘til your head stops spinnin’.

Aquarius Rising – Old friends, group drama, or that one Facebook group you left might resurface. Check your boundaries and your Wi-Fi before jumpin’ back in

Pisces Rising – Work, goals, or that “big dream” you been chasin’? Might need a tune-up. Don’t quit, just re-route. God’s got better GPS than you do, promise.

💫 Beans’ Porch-Talk Summary

When Mercury’s moonwalkin’, you ain’t supposed to fix the whole world — just clean up your corner of it. Re-think, re-word, re-try, re-lax.

Say less, listen more, and don’t go buyin’ new gadgets ‘til Mercury stops actin’ like your drunk cousin at the family reunion.

What’s been glitchin’ the most for y’all — phones, plans, or people’s mouths?

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