2d • General discussion
Here I am Lord!
Who will go for us? God asks this question to those called according to his purpose, so guess what that's a basic right + responsibility for all believers: that's you and me brothers + sisters. I don't know about the specifics of your journeys, or what God is requiring of you today, but I want to encourage you by saying do not abandon your post! I struggle so many days with not being willing to give my all. I am committed to my stand 100% (I think), I will never give up ( I say), but then those cracks in my armor wear me down. I get tired of fighting. I get tired of not seeing progress. I get tired of the pain of rejection. That passage in Isaiah has long been a favorite of mine. Take me into the holy of holies-that beautiful song has been a favorite of mine for many years, but now it's not just the love of a beautiful passage + music that tugs at my heart. It is a war call, it is a funeral hymn about dying to myself, it is a call to surrender that must not go unanswered! It is a reminder that our time here on earth must count for something! When you go to church and see these sweet families and missionaries coming to the stage to share all the amazing testimonies of how God saved great numbers at their recent trip or event, it is easy for me to fall prey to the enemies lies that I am not doing something big enough for the kingdom, that my stand is merely the consequences of failing as a wife. Like here are these people doing all this exciting work for your kingdom + I can't hardly get out of bed to show up for service. Self pity is a deadly thing! Comparison is the theif of joy. The pastor that married us had + still has a heart for marriages. He and his wife moved to Mexico several years ago for just that to help save marriages. One on the things he would say often in his preaching was that a Godly home and a strong marriage is the greatest fortress against the enemy. The enemy knows this + that is why he comes so hard for it. I believe the reason the enemy is so relentless against some marriages + not others is he know the potential our marriages have for God's kingdom. He is not just being a bully and picking on the weak + dying ones. He is trying to eliminate those fortresses. He knows that if he can't cut them off early they will become untouchable. He is right! I remember a time about 6 months into my stand when I God asked me to go to a funeral, the first time I would have seen my husband in months and our first public appearance. I begged + pleaded with the Lord: ask me to do anything else, this is too hard, I will never be able to tolerate that much pain. Then this scripture struck me down! Who will go for US?!?! I am asking you Hildy Jane ( that's what I get called when I'm in trouble or need to pay closer attention). You are not doing this just out of respect and support of the family, its not just the socially right thing to do. It what WE , the Eternal the God of heavenly armies is drafting you for. All you have to do is obey the call and this invincible army will fight for you. I could see those fierce winged warriors lined up before and behind and all around me. As I walked down that aisle with hundreds of human eyes on me, as I heard my husband sitting behind me weeping and felt the deep pain of the role of being a gentle comforting wife having been severed from me, the shame of being a left woman. I felt every blow from the enemy, I felt every once of pain and it was more than I could bear, but I also felt deep peace. I felt victorious. I felt the Holy Spirit coursing through every cell of my body. I knew that in my weakness his glory was shining through and he was so so proud of me. I know many of you have stories like this. Many of you have been called to do much harder things and live under much harsher cruelities. But know this: you have made and are making him proud. You are joined by the greatest army of all. You have been will be and right now are victorious. So answer that call! Listen for that call and know that when you do you are walking in the exact purpose you were creating for. Its not glamorous, you don't get called to the stage, often the world and even fellow believers don't see or even validate this victory, but it is real, it is true, it is eternal! I love you all and am praying for you and this mighty fortresses He is restoring all over the globe!!!
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Here I am Lord!
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The KM Model is for the spouse who is deciding whether or not the marriage is worth fighting for the couple in separation or divorce…Don’t Give Up.
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