Dec '25 • General discussion
Children's questions...
Children are famous for asking the question “why?”
This question is sometimes pure curiosity, and sometimes it is feedback for the parents.
Feedback that the parents may not have communicated clearly.
Feedback that the parents may have told the child what to do but not why they do these things.
Feedback that the parents may just expect their children to listen and act because they are the parents.
If children don’t understand “why” they will struggle to believe in what they are doing.
If they don’t believe in what they are doing, the parents have instilled behaviors (external motivation) but not imparted belief (internal motivation).
Why is one of the best questions a parent can be asked from their children, since they are often really asking to receive belief. To become internally motivated.
Why do we rinse off dishes before we put them in the dishwasher?
Why do we take out the trash every week?
Why do we go to bed at a certain time?
Why do we eat certain foods and not others?
Why do we buy certain things and not others?
Why do we watch certain things and not others?
Why do we go to church?
Why do we read books?
Why do we put on seatbelts when we get in the car?
Children with internal motivation/belief end up doing things on their own simply because they believe in it. They also don’t need to be reminded as often. Or convinced that they need to do it “again”.
Knowing “why” not only imparts belief in what we do as families, it also has the potential to remove or impart fear (belief) depending on our answer.
Why do we put on seatbelts when we get in the car? can be answered with, “because it’s the law, and if the police see us without them we will get a ticket, I don’t want to waste money on that and/or get in trouble”.
It can also be answered with “because you are valuable, and if something happened on the road we want you as safe as possible”.
One answer imparts a belief in their value, the other imparts fear of not getting in trouble. Both may accomplish the same behavior but only one gives a healthy belief.
Why do we watch certain things and not others? can be answered the same. “We don’t want the devil getting into our minds and causing fear (fear of fear)”. Or, “our imagination is where God will speak to us and we want to make sure it’s clear so we can easily know what He’s up to with us”.
“Why?” is one of the most beautiful opportunities our children will present to us as parents.
Let’s use it, and use it wisely.
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Children's questions...
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