19d • General discussion
What brought me here .
I love this photo. It was taken of me and my three teenage children on holiday shortly before our world as a family changed forever
My eldest son here has Tourette Syndrome and Autism. He struggled with anxiety throughout his teens and shortly after this he had a huge breakdown, probably caused by burnout.
In the 20 years since then our lives, not just his, have been very different to what we imagined them to be. A life fighting for mental health services, struggling to keep him safe, having to give up my career, my social life, my income. Navigating the benefit system for him.
His siblings are also neurodiverse although one doesn't want to go down the diagnosis route. They had to come to terms with "grieving" the brother they thought they had, becoming carers, learning to live and support the brother he morphed into and eventually joining in celebrating his achievements as he progressed on his recovery.
However I also know recovery is not a straight line. We have had many twists , turns and even doubled back on several occasions. My husband and I have also struggled with our mental health at times while juggling caring for our son with the usual pressures of life including caring for parents as they got older and passed away.
We as a family were lucky as we supported each other but on my journey I've talked to so many people struggling without support and that's what gave me the idea of this community.
I felt "shame" in being the parent of a mentally ill teenager when all around other parents were boasting about their young people achievements.
I know now that everyone has their own story and their own burdens. If my son had been diagnosed with cancer would I have felt ashamed? Of course not! Yet I had no more control over him becoming mentally ill than if he'd become physically ill and for several years he was at real risk of losing his life to his illness.
You will never feel shame in this community.
That is my promise to you ❤️
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What brought me here .
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