2d • Tools That Help
The Only Things You Truly Control — Your Effort and Your Response
Depression is a thief.
It steals energy.
It steals motivation.
It steals clarity.
And worst of all, it steals your sense of control.
When you’re in the thick of it, everything feels dictated by the fog in your head. You might feel like a puppet yanked around by emotion. Or like you’re watching your life happen from behind glass.
Powerless.
Numb.
Exhausted.
But here’s the hard, liberating truth:
You always control two things.
Your effort — what you do, no matter how small.
Your response — how you react, no matter what happens.
Even if the world crashes down, those two things remain yours.
Depression can make that feel impossible. But leaning into this truth is one of the most powerful survival strategies there is. It comes from Stoic philosophy — yes — but more importantly, it’s been stress-tested by everyone from Roman emperors to ordinary people just trying to endure.
Your Effort: Tiny Acts of Rebellion
Effort isn’t about hustle culture.
It’s not waking up at 5am, drafting a novel, and running a marathon.
It’s about survival.
It’s about defiance.
It’s about small acts of rebellion against the voice that says, “Why bother?”
In February 2025, I lost my job. It was handled badly — underhanded and hurtful. The day after the adrenaline wore off, the realisation hit like damp concrete. I lay on the sofa and felt that heavy rug of depression start to suffocate me.
I looked at my little dog — newly adopted — and thought I’d never be able to walk him again. Even though I needed to.
So I didn’t try to fix my life.
I just did small things.
Ten minutes of French.
Read a poem.
Edge the wedge in.
Eight hours later, I was walking the dog — something that felt impossible that morning.
On a bad day, effort might look like:
• Brushing your teeth.
• Sending one text.
• Eating a banana instead of skipping food.
• Moving your body for five minutes.
• Making your bed — even if you crawl back into it.
These small efforts are not meaningless.
They signal to your brain: I’m still here. I’m still trying.
And repeated over time, those signals matter.
A 2022 meta-analysis in Psychological Bulletin found that even mild physical activity — like a ten-minute walk — can reduce symptoms of depression. We’re not talking about gym goals. We’re talking about motion as medicine.
Don’t underestimate the courage it takes to do basic things when you feel like you’re drowning.
Effort isn’t about outcome.
It’s about showing up.
As Epictetus said:
“If you wish to be in good health, let it appear in your actions.”
That includes mental health.
Your Response: Choosing Meaning Over Misery
Depression fills your mind with automatic thoughts:
• I’m a failure.
• Nothing will ever change.
• No one cares.
You might not stop those thoughts appearing. But you can choose what to do with them.
That’s your response.
This is where Stoicism shines. The Stoics believed events are neutral — it’s our interpretation that gives them weight.
You might lose a job.
Go through a breakup.
Feel rejected.
Those things hurt.
But the meaning you attach to them? That’s where suffering multiplies — or begins to loosen.
Marcus Aurelius wrote:
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
Reframing isn’t lying to yourself. It’s choosing a more functional story.
“I failed” becomes “I failed — so I’m learning.”
“I’m alone” becomes “Not everyone understands me — but that doesn’t mean I’m unworthy of connection.”
It takes practice. It takes repetition. But even a small shift can interrupt the downward spiral.
This isn’t forced positivity.
It’s disciplined thinking.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy — which is built on this principle — is recommended by the NHS and has strong evidence supporting its effectiveness for moderate to severe depression. This isn’t fluff. It works.
The Ultimate Freedom
Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
He endured horrors most of us can’t imagine.
And still, he located freedom in his response.
That’s the blueprint.
The Daily Decision
When you’re depressed, life shrinks to minutes.
Not weeks.
Not years.
Minutes.
And in those minutes, you’re faced with micro-decisions:
Do I get up or stay in bed?
Do I eat or not?
Do I challenge this thought — or believe it?
You won’t win every time. That’s fine.
But every time you choose effort, every time you choose a healthier response, you’re moving.
You’re surviving.
You’re building something.
Your power lies in small choices.
When the world feels unchangeable — when your own mind feels like the enemy — you still get to choose:
Your effort.
Your response.
That’s where your freedom lives.
That’s where healing begins.
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The Only Things You Truly Control — Your Effort and Your Response
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