When the MASCULINE RISES and the FEMININE AWAKENS- THE WORLD CHANGES

Video I felt inspired to share on this beautiful Monday. 🌞🌚 This ended up going a little deeper than expected but I let the words flow as I felt called to share a small part of my journey in hopes someone may need this message. ❤️

Life continues to be more magical everyday!!!

If you've ever watched "The Lego Movie" I remember I just to recite the words, "Everything is Awesome!" Even when the days were darker. Our words hold more power than we can even comprehend, so speak love to yourself most importantly, especially when we make mistakes. Forgive yourself and learn and continue to grow. Guilt and shame hold the lowest of low frequency and when we start speaking love to ourselves, our habits fade away on their own, we start to elevate without force and start becoming the soul we were meant to reincarnate. The more we dwell on the past, stay stuck in our old thought patterns, and the more we try to force things into existence, the more resistance holds us back. Start with baby steps, speaking love into the mirror everytime you look at yourself, even if you don't believe it at this moment, find simple things to be grateful for everyday, for when we look around, there are far more others suffering on the streets with their own story and journey that we cannot pass judgment on. We have not walked in their shoes, we don't truly know why they ended up where they are? Yet most pass judgments of being crack heads, lazy, etc when in reality do we truly know their story?

I posted a video the other day about a young man meeting an angel who answered a deep question he had asked to God. Instead of judging the homeless man for his looks, he knew it was a divine sign. ✨️🙏 Just like the story when the drowning man praying for God to save him. Two boats and a helicopter approached him asking to help me and refusing, he kept saying, God was going to save him. 😄🤣 God shows up in many forms, especially to test our faith and obedience. So be kind to everyone, you never truly know if his spirit is speaking a lesson or truth through someone or something unexpected.

God nor Jesus ever wanted to separate others in organized religious churches, infact that is missing the entire point of his teachings. Most don't even know what the 7 Deadly sins are,

Lust

Gluttony

Greed

Sloth

Wrath

Envy

Pride

Jesus was born to lead and awaken humanity to their soul purpose & the Christ Consciousness or Kundalini WITHIN US, for those who believe in another divine higher power. To balance the divine feminine and divine masculine, the YIN ☯️& the YANG ☯️

This collective of chosen ones are meant to awaken this power within ourselves find/remember our way back to our God Ordained Soul. We must rewire the programming that has taught us to fear, suffer, suppress, & distract us from our own hidden truth & the true power that has always been hidden within our very soul essence. 💕

When we start rising to our most authentic self, unapologetically. We start to set boundaries from those who dim our lights. ✨️ We start to understand that loneliness is actually the beginning of finding our own super power within ourselves. We understand that nature itself is in perfect alignment and being in solitude is where we find ourselves, our deepest truth and answers to our deepest questions. "Ask and it is Given" a great book authored by Esther & Jerry Hicks who channel Abraham. Have you heard of the saying, "Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it all and then realize it was something your soul never truly needed in the first place?

Sometimes we have these big goals/ expectationsof our dreams and when they should arrive, which is amazing and very important, but years ago, I stopped asking for what I thought I wanted in life and I started to ask what does God have in store for me? What is my divine purpose in this lifetime? I asked to be guided down this path. In turn, I lost more than I could have imagined, especially those I loved the most. My brother who was my soul connected bestfriend whom I started writing my first songs with through suicide, my uncle who was an older brother to me, always giving me advice when the world was falling apart. My Gramps who though could be dominant at times, represented a true masculine, a hard working man and talented architect who built 3 beautiful homes in my time, carving in detail the cabinets, cathedral ceilings, crown molding, down to the 🦁lion claws on my Nana and his kitchen table. I grew up helping my Dad & my Grandparents on weekends, fascinated by their work ethic and creating beautiful homes from the bare bones up. They always worked so hard, and Nana would cook healthy dinners and garden, paint, and it was like they never stopped working but they did it because they were passionate and loved what they were accomplishing. They taught me so much work ethic but also to follow your passions.

The majority of my childhood I was treated like Cinderella with a very mean and evil step mother and her mother who would say awful hurtful things to me everytime my father left for work. I would grow up fat if I kept eating this way, or I had dark gloomy eyes like my mother, or how would I feel if my Grandparents didn't buy my my brand new bike for my birthday? I wasn't allowed to even hold her cat lol. I went to 13 schools and moved even more times than I can count, I witnessed abusive and toxic relationships on both sides, toxic females on my father's side as he has always been the calm and neutral one but always allowing women to walk all over him. I was grateful he and my mother always got along growing up and never fought. When I was 13 years old I had prayed for years my parents would reunite as one again. It's funny though, because when my father finally got his own place and left a toxic relationship, I was so happy to always go there and spend time with him and do things alone for once. We went camping, played all sports, fished, hiked, biked, skated, rollarbladed, drove on his Harley, even up to Friday the 13th in Dover a few times.

It's when we literally surrender the outcome that things manifest. I'm not saying my entire childhood was horrible, in fact I am very grateful for my hard working single mom that worked 3 jobs and went to business school by herself and became very successful. She always did her best, made our homes beautiful and though she carries a lot of stress, sadness and grief, I know in my heart she shows up doing the best she can for what she knows now. I'm grateful my Dad offers more balance in her life and adopted my brother as his own so he could experience what a true fathers love can offer. I'm grateful for everything in my life, all the trials and tribulations and though I miss those and many more who have passed away, I have a tremendous army of angels 😇💜 who guide me every step of the way.

I saw a lot of things little girls shouldn't have seen, many bullies growing up as I moved so often and never had a chance to truly meet friends for very long. I witnessed my Mom's abusive, alcoholic, cocaine boyfriends. I remember sitting on the stairs at 5 years old protecting my little brother from seeing them fist fighting and throwing one another down the stairs, the anger, the fighting, the sexual abuse my brother encountered by his own father whom also babysat me at 5 years old too. To this day, I have no recollection and blanks in my childhood that I cannot remember that could have too happened to me, especially based on never truly feeling safe in my own body, causing me to always be in the state of fight or flight. I also went down a dark path of similar relationships that I gave unconditional love to over and over again only to be mocked, belittled and abused physically & emotionally but sometimes I believe that the blanks in which I do not recall, was only God protecting me from further trauma so I could be strong for my little brother and mother & because he knew I had a bigger purpose to fulfill in this lifetime. I had to be put through my own lessons and warrior training to become the strong and resliant person I am today. My entire life I have been mistreated and told to be quiet, that I'm too deep, too spiritual, that I should sing but not talk about my story, that I'm too old to be in the music industry, my dreams are too big, that I am going no where, that I'm crazy, fake, weird, so many more hurtful words still linger in my heart, yet as I heal and release the trauma and pain and recognize that everyone showed up the best they could, and every action and word was only their own projection of themselves.

I can forgive and give thanks for the lessons and strength they have given me in life and if I am triggered by someones hate, I take a breathe and visualize them as a young innocent child who endured their own trauma and hasn't faced it yet. I also send healing to their soul and have faith one day they too will heal, even if it may take a few lifetimes to let go of the ego. I have always had a deep knowing since I was very young that I am not from this realm, my Mom still thinks I'm nuts for saying this, but I know it's true!

I do believe our body tells the truth and there are things I've felt immensely that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, nor do I expect anyone to understand. As empaths, healers, light workers, we feel everything too. We are also the generational curse/trauma cycle breakers which makes our emotional and physical pain a million times more intense because we are healing collective energy, not just our own.

A few years ago, a week before my very first Canadian tour, I lost my talking voice completely. I worked for my mother's business most of my life and as she drove me to Toronto to see the specialist, she said "If he says you can't sing anymore, you need to listen." I prayed the entire way up there, I mean I speak to spirit all day long but you get the gist. Lol.

"Please God, don't take my voice, especially now before my first real tour, my voice is all I have in this lifetime."

As we walked in, I felt this peace come over me, the Dr and his assistant were incredible people, he started talking about chakras and how everything has a spiritual root cause, my eyes lit up, as my motherr rolled hers, lol. I said, "You're speaking my language sir!"

He said, "Kristen, we did the scope and you have nodules but it's not your singing voice, it's your talking voice. You're not speaking your truth, what are you holding back?"

My heart sank.... Here I was sitting beside my Mom whom I love unconditionally but for my entire life I was terrified of getting in trouble, or always disappointing her, especially because my brother was in trouble his entire life, in and out of hospitals, group homes and jail from his childhood trauma. So I started to just tell my Mom everything she wanted to hear because at times it felt easier. I realize now I shouldn't have ever lied, and I certainly feel remorse for my mistakes. I just always wanted her to be proud of me and in turn I lost my talking voice. Thankfully enough, I learned some vocal and talking therapy exercises; straw therapy being the best, I went on my tour with my mentor Sarah Smith ♡ who inspired me to get back into music after losing my brother to suicide. By some Goddly miracle I was able to sing a 30 min set for 8 days straight, but could not really talk at all lol. I had to take out some of my own originals as I couldn't sing in certain keys, and ended up going more of a raspy vibe but it ended up being one of the most incredible experiences in my life. It took about 3 years, but I was finally able to hit the same notes again eventually.

I have many more health experiences over the last 7 years but I don't want to bore you all with all my rambling, I tend to do that sometimes. I do truly believe in the Kundalini Awakening for those who have heard about it, or haven't, I encourage you to look it up. The point of this story is that life is too short to live for someone else who doesn't value who we truly are. Our body is our temple and it does scream at us when something isn't right, we must listen. By suppressing our feelings and emotions, it just leads to a longer transition in our healing. Now I'm also not saying I am completely healed and perfect because that is far from true and I think healing is a lifetime journey. I still have things to work on but instead of shaming and guilting myself, I send myself even more love. I do believe balance is 🗝 & though I like some structure, I am spontaneous and like to try and move with the flow of life, I love adventures, having drinks sometimes 🍸 🍄 plant medicine, I love performing shows as a singer/songwriter, I love to sing, dance and play, while I also love to work hard too and I'm not afraid to get dirty or go camping in the forest. 🌳 ⛺️

We are all very beautifully, imperfectly different. Our bodies too! Some of us can eat certain foods, while others cannot, ones codependency, isn't the same for another. We may be ONE But we cannot judge one from another because we are react differently to things. We all have habits and honestly one is no different from another, so we cannot judge anyone.

I apologize for my novel but when I get an ounce of inspiration, I have the need to embrace it. Lol. Be gentle with yourself, stop shaming and guilting yourself, stop feeling bad for not being able to be the person someone else needs. We have to love ourselves enough to let go and send healing from a distance. The only way we can truly help awaken others, is to first awaken ourselves. To fall in love with life and our passions and most importantly ourselves. We can't keep holding onto things that no longer serves our highest purpose or we will remain in the same place and attract the same relationships until we learn the lessons. We need to let go of attachment, resentment and understand that we are not in control of anyone. The more we work on ourselves, the more people we inspire to awaken that same light we radiate within ourselves. ✨️

So stop being so hard on yourself, remember that letting go is very hard and sad at times but we are actually helping those people grow too. Sometimes we are the students, sometimes we are the teachers... I've been on my own over a year now and it's been quite the year, I must admit 😆😅 but I couldn't be more proud of the growth & love that I have for myself for the first time in my life and most importantly knowing my worth. At the end of the day, what truly matters the most? If you had one month to live or even one day, would you change anything? What do you want to leave behind in your legacy? I want you to honestly think about this under the Sun or the Moon in nature and come back and reply ♡ If you feel called to of course.

Have a beautiful day everyone!

❤️ & 🌟

☆K♡Bez☆

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