In February 2026, I found God—or perhaps God found me. Shortly afterward, I had what I can only describe as a profound spiritual experience. I experienced a feminine spiritual presence placing her hands on my face and saying, “Look at her side.” Whether others interpret that as spiritual, symbolic, or psychological, it changed the way I see the world. It taught me patience, compassion, and the importance of looking at situations from another perspective. I’ve always believed in God, but before then, I had never truly felt God’s presence. Around the same time, I became fascinated by quantum physics. The more I learned, the more I found myself reflecting on experiments like the double-slit experiment, which demonstrates that many fundamental particles can behave in ways that challenge our everyday intuition. That didn’t prove my faith. Instead, it reminded me that the universe is far more mysterious than I had ever imagined. It encouraged me to keep asking questions—with both curiosity and humility. Since then, I’ve noticed many changes in my own life and perspective. Some experiences are difficult to explain, and I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I’m still learning, and I hope I always will. What I do know is this: trusting God has brought me peace, hope, and a greater appreciation for life than I’ve ever known before. Whether your path is through faith, science, philosophy, or simply asking honest questions, I hope you never stop seeking truth with an open heart.

Be respectful. Be kind. Be loving. Be caring. Be honest. Be authentic. Everyone makes mistakes, but what matters is that we learn from them and keep growing. Never give up on your children. Never give up on yourself. Don’t abandon the people you love—including the person you’re becoming. It’s easy to let outside voices influence the way we think, so take the time to reflect, ask questions, and think for yourself. I’m still learning, and I hope I never stop. You’re never too old to learn.

I’m deeply alone…..I don’t wanna be alone any more. I’ve basically come to understand science as my salvation….and I’m afraid people will judge me because of that. So all I do all day is mantra that is basically me repeating words in the philosophical approach of “what the hell is this even?!?” It helps a lot….im a lot less confused when I can’t wrap my head around a thing, I just have to sit with it and spend time with it that way and over time I learn as stuff naturally pops up in my head, not me spiraling for answers out of a fearful obligation that I’ll be screwed if I don’t understand immediately……..circumstance and society alike have given my fear brain too much instant ramen I guess haha. It’s stuck craving it and it sucks! Agh! Here’s a good one - everything is either a potato or not a potato. Given that, everything is either you or not you. Given that, the word co-incidence is actually how reality works rather than a bug…..we’ve all been blaspheming our entire lives….every one of us.

I just had a brief but strange dream. In the dream, my older son Tony and I were driving to a dentist appointment. We turned off Henry Avenue onto Princess Street, like we were headed somewhere ordinary and important. Nothing felt strange at first. It was just me and my son, driving through the city, trying to make it to an appointment. For some reason, I pulled into a parking lot somewhere between Henry and Logan Avenue, right on Princess Street. I parked my truck, and Tony and I got out. We started walking down Princess toward Logan, but after a short distance I realized something didn’t feel right. The dentist appointment was still too far away. I remember thinking, Why did I park here? We should be closer than this. So I decided we should turn back, get into the truck, and park somewhere else. Tony and I started walking back toward my truck. Then, suddenly, something hit me. My body froze. I went into paralysis. I tried to call out Tony’s name, but nothing would come out. I could feel myself trying to speak, trying to reach him, trying to warn him, but my voice wouldn’t work. I was trapped inside myself. Tony was right there, but I couldn’t call him. Then I woke up. And when I woke up, Tony had an urgent low blood sugar. This is now the third time where I’ve woken up to an urgent low blood sugar that he wasn’t managing. The odd thing is, two days ago, I was at that exact same spot in real life. I had pulled over there to help an Indigenous man who was foaming from the mouth and behaving almost zombie-like in the middle of the road. He was in real danger. Vehicles could have hit him. Something in me couldn’t just keep driving. So I stopped and helped him get off the street. And now, two days later, my dream brought me right back to that same place — except this time, I was there with my son. Maybe the dream wasn’t really about a dentist appointment. Maybe it was about being a father, being a protector, and that sudden fear that danger can appear out of nowhere. Maybe the paralysis was the fear of not being able to act, not being able to speak, or not being able to protect someone in the moment they need you.

I had a dream where I was driving through the dark near my son’s school. The street felt familiar, but not completely. It was the kind of place you recognize in a dream, even when everything is slightly wrong. The night was heavy, and I remember not being sure where I was going. I was just driving forward, following the road, trusting something I couldn’t see. Then I saw a woman. She looked like someone I used to work with years ago. She had black hair, brown eyes, and pale skin. With her was a baby girl. The baby was white, with blonde hair, but there was something different about her. She wasn’t like an ordinary baby. She had an intelligence in her eyes that didn’t match her age. It was like she understood things before anyone explained them. I dropped the woman off near where my son’s school is now, except in the dream, it wasn’t exactly the same place. It was near where there are churches close by now, but in the dream, it wasn’t a church. It was a residential building. The woman went inside, but she didn’t come back. So I followed. The building seemed to lead downward, into a basement level, almost like an underground apartment floor. The deeper I went, the stranger it became. I started seeing people I knew. Passed-away family members. Familiar faces from different parts of my life. They walked by me as if I belonged there, but also as if I was only half-present. There were other babies there too. Then I saw my cousin who has passed away. He was sitting on the floor, watching TV. I spoke to him a couple of times, and for some reason it felt normal, even though I knew it wasn’t. I placed the baby girl on a mattress on the floor nearby, but she wouldn’t stay still. She kept moving. She kept crawling away. There was something about her that amazed me. She was only a baby, but she moved with purpose, like she knew exactly where she was going. So I followed her down the hallway. As I walked, I noticed something sticking out that looked like a weed. Without thinking, I pulled it out. But when I looked again, I realized it wasn’t a weed at all.