Jan 20 • Reflections/ revelations
Spiritual Lessons from Pleasure
I don't want to finish my favorite meal. At least not for some time. My Granpda ate nice and slow.
Why rush to the end of sex? Why end it at all? Our mental beings love starts and finishes. I've heard women express that foreplay can and does start during the day with listening and talking that feels nourishing.
There are finite games with strictly defined rules that are played to win and then stop playing. Or you stop playing, then you win. And there is a finite amount of finite games and they're all based on limitations. And there are endless amounts of infinite games with amorphous rules, the goal of which is to keep playing. Curiosity is invited/ required in the second, and much less important in the first.
Finite games have boundaries, timers, and often referees, with numeric scores. Infinite games have players, crafting play as it happens, like a child. Kids learn that the goal ( of just about everything) is to win from adults. Otherwise, they might just bop around, witnessing the effects of and on the ball they are bouncing with no notion of hitting someone with it, throwing it past them, getting them 'out', and ending the game.
Our religious systems have us deeply cemented into the finite game of winning, or at least stopping play. This is unlike dancing a little drunk at a wedding, where the game is to keep dancing. Rarely is one immersed in the midst of a wedding reception and says to self, "I can't wait til my buzz and this dancing and smiling is over with so I can move on to the next thing". Or maybe this does happen, but it takes a while to get there, and there are moments of absorption in sensate awareness and gratitude on the way.
But, yeah, one does get thirsty and tired. Dance is a classic entry point into infinite play. The same way a golden retriever gets the ball not for treats or accolades, but because it feels good in his body to do so, so too is the human dancing just for the pure bodily experience and pleasure of doing it. Certainly, the finite gamers have to do their best to turn everything into a finite game, so people will think these are the only types of games in town. Yes, there have been dance contests for mates or accolades or whatever forever, but never before has this beautiful and important all levels of human health tech been so stripped away from the common human- especially in the Near East and West.
Moving on to the 'next thing' is an addiction. It's why I try to chew and even eat with my eyes closed. And yes, I do use my hands to eat way more than the average American human. When we can't even fully immerse in the things we like due to trying to get things done rather than enjoy the doing, life speeds along, lacking depth of experiencing the thing in front of us, waiting for (or running towards) the next thing so we can finish that too, and the next and forever not this here, but that there.
Wanna make time move faster? Stick your head way out from your body into the future.
It seems a lot of jobs are ones where people wanna finish, drive home, and do something else. This is a rough state, but quite common. The grumpiness on the road makes a lot of sense with this possibility and seems a reasonable back-testing result to affirm that the first statement of people not liking their jobs is true. If one spends all day doing something one loves, it seems there would be a little bit more pleasure on the road.
I pleasure drive, listening to/ feeling how fast my small car wants to go, sensing the breeze ( no AC), appreciating the sights, and jamming out to some yummy tunes.
Our grandfathers enjoyed driving, but we are chronically overscheduled. We need to make a long list and finish the things on the list and judge ourselves as having had a good day based on achieving things. The grim Santa called Yahweh has a list, doesn't make mistakes, so only has to check it once, and will run down your accomplishments to pass or not the pearly gates, apparently.
What if we judged ( or even didn't judge) our days focused on presence in the moment?
There's not even anymore Sunday driving on a Sunday.
What if we approached sex like an infinite game of delight, discussion, depth, and curiosity?
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Spiritual Lessons from Pleasure
