Carrying on giving Cognitive Distortion a bloody nose

As previously discussed, all have thinking habits that quietly mess with our mood. This post deals with the next three on the list of personalisation, mind reading, and fortune telling.

They feel real. They feel convincing. But they’re often just mental shortcuts that create unnecessary stress.

Here’s how to deal with them in a practical way.

1. Personalisation – “It’s my fault.”

This is when you assume something negative is about you.

Your boss looks serious → “I must have done something wrong.”

A friend is quiet → “They’re annoyed with me.”

Plans fall through → “I ruined it.”

How to combat it:

Ask: What else could explain this?

Most things have multiple causes.

Separate what you can control from what you can’t.

Look for actual evidence, not feelings.

Most of the time, other people are dealing with their own stuff. Not everything is about you.

2. Mind Reading – “I know what they’re thinking.”

This is when you assume you know what someone thinks about you — usually something negative.

“They think I’m boring.”

“They didn’t reply because they’re upset with me"

“Everyone noticed I messed up.”

The truth? You don’t know, your mind just wants to convince you to stay small, stay safe

How to combat it:

Replace “They think…” with “I’m guessing they think…”

Ask directly if it’s appropriate.

Notice how often your guesses turn out wrong.

Your brain hates uncertainty. So it fills in blanks. That doesn’t make it accurate.

3. Fortune Telling – “This is going to go badly.”

This is predicting a negative outcome without solid evidence.

“I’ll fail.”

“The meeting will be a disaster.”

“There’s no point trying.”

It feels like preparation. It’s usually just anxiety talking.

How to combat it:

Ask: What’s the actual probability?

Consider best case, worst case, and most likely case.

Focus on what you can do now instead of predicting later.

The future isn’t written yet. Your prediction is not a fact.

When you catch yourself spiraling, and the more you become aware of your thoughts the more you can intercept them!

Name the distortion (personalisation, mind reading, fortune telling).

Check the evidence.

Offer alternative explanations.

Choose a balanced thought.

Example:

“I embarrassed myself. Everyone thinks I’m incompetent.” or a common one when stepping in to a new gym, " Everyone is staring at me, judging me, they think I'm going to fail"

→ Mind reading.

→ No one said that.

→ Most people were focused on their own work.

→ Balanced thought: “I made a mistake. It happens. I can fix it.”

The goal isn't about forced positivity. It’s accuracy.

Your thoughts are powerful — but they aren’t always reliable narrators.

Slow them down. Question them. Replace them with something fair and realistic.

That’s how you take your power back.

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