Skill focus: kindness, positive noticing, speaking up
time: ~5 minutes (scales to 10)
Materials: none
Goal
Kids practice giving specific, sincere compliments about effort, behavior, or skills—building confidence, empathy, and clear speaking.
Quick Setup
- Space: open area or circle; everyone standing.
- Teach the rule: “Compliments are specific and about effort, actions, or character (not bodies or clothes).”
- Post/teach a stem: “Name, I like how you…” (…did/said/helped/tried).
How to Play (5 steps)
- Model (30 sec): Adult faces a student: “Ava, I like how you shared markers during art.” High-five, gentle nod, or wave (no mandatory touch).
- Start: Choose someone to be It.
- Tag with words: It turns to a peer and says a specific compliment using the stem.
- Switch: The tagged child becomes It. Previous It sits or crosses arms (optional) to track who’s been tagged.
- Finish: End when most/all have been tagged; do a 20-second debrief.
Fast rule: You can’t tag back the person who just tagged you.
What Counts as “Specific” (kid-friendly)
- Effort: “I like how you kept trying when the puzzle was tricky.”
- Behavior: “I like how you waited your turn in the game.”
- Kindness: “I like how you invited Mia to join.”
- Teamwork: “I like how you passed the ball to include others.”
- Communication: “I like how you used an inside voice in group time.”
Sample Scripts (by age)
- Ages 4–6: “, I like how you shared.” / “, I like how you cleaned up fast.”
- Ages 7–9: “, I like how you asked a follow-up question.” / “, I like how you stayed calm when we disagreed.”
- Ages 10–12: “, I appreciate how you summarized our plan.” / “, I noticed you gave everyone a turn.”
Variations
- Circle Tag (quiet): Stand in a circle; It passes a soft ball after the compliment.
- Sticky Notes: Kids write a compliment and hand it over (great for shy speakers).
- Teacher Seed: Adult slips in 2–3 targeted compliments to model depth.
- Must-Tag-New: Each must choose someone who hasn’t been tagged yet (equity).
- Partner Flip: Pair up; each gives one compliment, then switch partners.
Inclusion & Support
- Eye-contact alternatives: Look at forehead or simply face the person.
- Language learners: Provide a mini word bank (share, help, listen, include, try).
- Shy/anxious kids: Allow whispering to the adult who repeats or use sticky-note version.
- Sensory needs: Use a wave/fist-bump instead of touch; keep background noise low.
Norms & Safety
- No appearance-based compliments.
- Be kind, be true, be specific.
- Pass option: “You can pass once; I’ll circle back later.”
Troubleshooting
- Vague compliments (“You’re nice”): Prompt— “What did they do that was nice?”
- Same kids chosen: Use “must-tag-new” rule or teacher quietly redirects choices.
- Giggles/teasing: Pause, restate norms, model one serious compliment, resume.
- Time crunch: Run 60 seconds rapid-fire in a circle.
Light Assessment (optional)
- Tally specific compliments vs. vague (aim for >70% specific by week 2).
- Note 1–2 students to highlight next time (“I noticed you used a great action word— ‘include’!”).