Oct 29 (edited) • Found this interesting...
The Science behind the Formula
I posted yesterday about the internal struggles I've faced building this business so far. Today I wanted to share the science behind what was going wrong for me in that post. Because it's the same science behind the Referral-First Growth Formula. And the power of the what's coming next from me and for the group.
Here's the mechanics of why GET, HELP, and KEEP aren't just super simple business fundamentals.
There is much more under the surface than just marketing plans, SOPs, and referral networks...
Every business at this level has one bottleneck that trumps them all: Psychology.
System: Typical Fear: What It Looks Like:
GET : Fear of rejection: Avoiding outreach, hiding behind busywork
HELP: Fear of losing control: Micromanaging, no delegation or system
KEEP: Fear of not being good enough: Avoiding follow-ups or asking for referrals
Neuroscience explains it:
When our focus turns inward (“me, my results, my worth”), the brain’s default-mode network lights up too. It's the part tied to anxiety and rumination. It plays out in 4 phases:
Phase 1: Inspiration
Focus: “Them” - solving problems, creating value
Feeling: Excitement, purpose, creativity
Outcome: High energy, high outreach
Phase 2: Early Feedback
Focus: Feedback shifts to “Me” - “Why didn’t they like it?”
Feeling: Doubt, frustration, self-focus
Outcome: Motivation drop, over-analysis Interpretation Loop Attention locked on self and results
Phase 3: Rumination
Focus: More "Me"
Feeling: Anxiety happens, paralysis begins
Outcome: Execution slows, data stops flowing
Phase 4: Stagnation
Focus: No new data → confirmation bias kicks in
Feeling: Hopelessness, ego-protection
Outcome: Pivoting, avoidance, or shutdown
Personally, this one is a harder "Me vs Me" battle. One I tend to lose more often than I care to admit. Anyway...
When our attention moves outward (“their pain, their result, their win”), that network shuts down and the task-positive / empathy circuits take over.
Our brains literally can't feel anxiety when we are in the them frame.
Fear drops. Clarity rises. Action returns.
So the fastest way to get unstuck isn’t motivation. It’s a shift of focus:
Me → Them.
Every time momentum dies, it’s because the spotlight slid back onto us.
The Catch:
In the early stages, feedback is scarce and usually negative. With such a small data set, every “no” feels personal. That’s when emotion hijacks the loop and we start judging ourselves instead of analyzing the data.
When focus = me → fear.
When focus = them → growth.
The cure isn’t pretending not to feel it. It's building mirrors that keep you honest when the data is small and emotions are loud.
Tomorrow I will share the next step in my journey and what that means for you.
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The Science behind the Formula
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