Stop Sounding Like a Salesperson — Write Emails Like a Human

One of my clients used to rely 100% on cold calls. He was grinding. Burning dials. Seeing some success, but it was unpredictable.

Then we layered in email into his prospecting outreach sequence. Nothing complicated — just better messaging, sent to the right people at the right time. No tools. No automation. Just sharper communication.

Within two weeks, he started booking more meetings and became the most consistent top BDR at his company. How did he do it?

By using my "RIVER" email framework:

R – Relevance

Why are you reaching out now? Tie it to a recent change, role, or shift.

I – Insight

What did you find in your research? Show them you actually looked.

V – Value Gap

What common friction are they likely dealing with?

E – Effect

What’s the impact if that friction continues?

R – Recommendation

Suggest a helpful action. One CTA. Make it easy.

Here's an example email (using The RIVER Framework).

Subject Line: expense chaos

Hey [First Name],

(R) Just called and left you a voicemail. Saw you're leading finance over at [Company], and noticed your team’s been scaling fast.

(I) When teams grow that quickly, expense reporting usually gets... messy. Especially when employees still chase receipts or submit reports late.

(V) That often leads to end-of-month headaches, delayed closes, and frustrated finance teams.

(E) At Divvy, we simplify this by automating expenses down to just a few taps — and we do it at no cost.

(R) Would you be open to exploring if this could save your team time and stress?

[SIGNATURE]

Use this framework to build cold sales emails that feel personal — and scalable. Something you can actually rinse and repeat without sounding like a robot.

🎯Here's a challenge for everybody in this community:

Write 2 cold emails using the RIVER Method. Then — pick your favorite one and drop it in the comments. I’ll personally review it and give you feedback.

Let’s stop blasting emails and start sending ones that actually matter to the person reading them.

Vinnie

2 comments