New Years Resolutions through an Internal Family Systems Lens: The year is ending. And you're supposed to reflect. Set goals. Make resolutions. Look back at what you accomplished. But here's what most year-end reflections miss: They focus on external achievements—what you did, what you checked off, what you accomplished. They don't ask the deeper questions: How have you grown internally? What patterns have you been repeating? What's still blocking your transformation? What theme has been weaving through your entire year—and what does it reveal about what's coming next? The Part of You That's Been Growing in the Dark: A Year-End Practice for Seeing What's Actually Changed This isn't about productivity. This is about awareness. Because true transformation doesn't come from doing more. It comes from seeing clearly what's already happening. The Wisdom: Noticing Without Judgment There's an ancient teaching about waking up: "When we are able to notice what we are doing now, to experience our current state completely and without judgment, the old patterns will begin to fall away." Read that again. The key isn't effort. It's awareness. You don't have to force change. You have to see clearly. When you notice what you're doing—really notice, without judgment—the patterns naturally begin to dissolve. Why? Because unconscious patterns survive in the dark. Once you shine the light of awareness on them—once you see them clearly for what they are—they lose their power. From an IFS perspective: Parts operate unconsciously until you witness them. Once a protector part realizes: "Oh, I've been doing this. I can see it now." It can choose differently. But until you see it—until you bring conscious, non-judgmental awareness to the pattern—it will keep running in the background. This is why year-end reflection is powerful: Not because you're setting new goals or making promises. But because you're creating space to see—really see—what's been happening all year. The Practice: Reflecting Back on Your Year

IFS stands for Internal Family Systems that is a psychotherapy model developed over the last 40+ years by Richard Schwartz PhD (family therapist) over his time of working with traumatized clients with eating disorders… He discovered that all of us have multiplicity of mind which means that we have fragmented or disconnected parts within us that hold their own painful experiences still, and some parts (exile parts) hold what I call core wounds… this model teaches how to heal the core wounds within the exiled or fragmented off parts within us… I combine this with my training in clinical Hypnotherapy with healing the core wounds, but also adding in pivoting the extreme jobs of the protector parts into their original roles they were meant to play in our life… And integration of all disconnected parts within. This full model brings coherence with the left & right side of the brain, with our nervous system, with the heart space & the gut. This is a very compassionate model that brings forward the true nature within us, what I call our core essence, that is always there and cannot be harmed or burdened… It is just covered over with our protector parts that are just trying to keep us safe. I like to use the analogy of going from a bunch of bumper cars - some crashing into each other & some running from others - to an integrated formation where all of the cars are lined up and all following Core Essence as the leader - Core Essence is directly fully connected to the inner GPS (intuition, divine connection, Higher Self, Source, True Nature, etc) 🤩 That’s why the method I created of the models I combined (IFS, Clinical Hypnotherapy, Nervous System Regulation) is completely life changing. 🤩 Commented below with any questions or maybe other models you’ve found helpful for emotional healing ❤️‍🩹

I’m a survivor of violent childhood trauma and have spent my life trying to heal emotionally and break the cycle. After 16 years, BS degree, MA degrees in counseling, diplomas in clinical hypnotherapy, certifications in energy work & embodiment work, I finally stumbled across Internal Family Systems psychotherapy model, which aligned with Parts Therapy, Shadow Work, and Ego States Therapy in the hypnotherapy studies. But each side had what the other side lacked. So I got trained by the IFS Institute and have been focused on combining IFS & Clinical Hypnotherapy specializing in childhood trauma (after I worked with my own practitioner for my own emotional healing) ❤️‍🩹 So basically, in my own healing journey, I saw what worked for me getting real traction forward in healing impulsive behaviors, toxic patterns, and system dysregulation - and what didn’t. I studied, got trained, got certified in every modality that helped my own healing journey. And now I bring it to other people so they can have a streamlined map and not have to go through 16 years & over $100,000 like I had to. It is my mission to bring this combination of modalities and teaching to the masses. So they can understand 1) it’s not their fault nothing has fully worked yet; and 2) here’s what you need to know to get traction forward. 💗 I had a PhD psychologist tell me that I would never be cured and the best I could do was learn coping mechanisms to “manage” my symptoms. He was wrong. I’m living proof it can be done. 🥰

I've been testing the chatGPT Assistant tool for inner Parts work & Reality Bending for a few weeks now, but I compiled everything over the weekend and let it loose ... well, this morning I grabbed it to try to just play the 3-card Pull Game that helps us to start "stalking reality" by becoming the Observer... I read through the GPT answer and my jaw dropped open!! It was right on the money. Hit the nail on the head. Here's what it said: Hi, I just want to do the three card pull and today I pulled the jack of clubs, then the seven of clubs, then the eight of clubs Answer: Nice, a full run of clubs Let’s walk it through as a 3-card Medici pull in the usual positions: - 1 – Source: Jack of Clubs - 2 – Path: 7 of Clubs - 3 – Outcome: 8 of Clubs Before we interpret, take one slow breath with me: Inhale… notice your body… exhale… just observe what’s here in you as you think of these cards. Suit theme: All Clubs Clubs in this game = action, communication, learning, social energy, work, and creative projects. All three being clubs says: “This is not about vague feelings — this is about what you do, say yes/no to, organize, and put your energy into.” So we’re zoomed into your behavior, habits, schedule, and conversations right now. Card 1 – Jack of Clubs (Source) Source position: What’s underneath this situation / intention? The underlying pattern, part, or energy that’s “starting the movie.” Jack of Clubs energy: - Curious, quick-moving, mentally active - Student / messenger vibe – learning, networking, trying things - Can also be scattered, over-committed, or people-pleasing when in an extreme IFS lens (inner parts): This looks like a young manager part in you who says something like: “If I stay busy, keep learning, keep saying yes, I’ll be safe / valued / not left behind.” It’s protective, not bad. It might: - Sign up for lots of things - Keep scrolling, researching, talking - Worry about missing opportunities Underneath, there may be an exile part that fears:

it's more likely to move through different areas of your life, and then travel to deeper layers in a circular fashion as the top layers are mended and healed First we learn to see our wounding. Then we learn to heal. First we learn to feel the Divine (The Universe, God, Source, whatever you like). Then we learn to manifest that Love. First we learn to use our voice. Then we allow the Divine to speak through us. First we learn how to give. Then we learn how to receive. There are steps in this process (although the order is different for everyone), and you can save yourself a lot of time, money, and energy, if you're willing to accept help. Come get some clarity on your purpose, lean further into your Core Essence,, and create a beautiful, abundant, easeful, life for yourself.