One of the MOST common sexual issues for both men and women, yet almost no one admits they have it. “What if I don’t get aroused?” “What if I can’t satisfy them?” “What if my body fails me?” “What if I disappoint them?” Sound familiar? That’s fear of sexual failure, the anxiety that something will go “wrong” during sex and you won’t be “good enough.” 🧠 What’s underneath this fear? Spoiler: it’s not really about sex. It’s about anxiety, perfectionism, and the pressure to perform. Common roots include: - 🌪 Performance anxiety - your brain shifts into “evaluation mode” instead of “pleasure mode.” - 😬 Overthinking - focusing on the outcome instead of sensations. - 💔 Fear of rejection. - 😶 Shame about your body or skills. - 🔥 Putting your partner on a pedestal (“they’re too good for me”). - 🧨 Past negative experiences - even one “failed attempt” can create a loop. And when anxiety hits, your nervous system goes into “threat mode,” lowering arousal. For men → difficulties with erection or control. For women → lack of lubrication, tension, pain, difficulty relaxing. 🧩 How it shows up: - avoiding sex with new partners - needing “perfect conditions” to feel comfortable - being overly controlling or emotionally checked out - losing pleasure - feeling like you’re watching yourself from the outside - avoiding intimacy to avoid “failing” 🧠 Important truth Fear of sexual failure creates the failure itself. 100% nervous system logic. When the brain is anxious, the body cannot feel pleasure. Period. 💡 What helps? (If you want, I can make a full post with techniques.) But briefly: - 🧘‍♂️ shift focus from performance → to sensation - 💬 name the anxiety — it reduces pressure instantly - 🐢 slow down, let the body catch up - 😏 choose connection, not perfection - 🤝 work with a therapist if it becomes a repeating pattern Have you ever felt scared your body might “not perform”?

Im glad to see here new members. Please don't hesitate to tell us more about yourself here and help to shape the content of this community so it's useful for everyone! Also, please check the rules of community here. I promise to be more consistent with posting. I’m still trying to find a balance between life and work - apparently, I prefer the present moment over being glued to my laptop. I’m sure many of you can relate 😂 (BTW, being present is one of the best things you can do for your sexuality and for your mental health in general 😉) Im continuing my nomadic lifestyle. Recently I left Barcelona and Spain for good, right now I'm on my road trip across Europe. Currently Im traveling in Côte d'Azur. Right now I'm writing this text in Monaco 🇲🇨 Sending you good vibes, some photos and some new articles I wrote on the way. P.S.: Im renting out my apartment in center of Barcelona, If anyone here is interested, you’re very welcome to my home.