My Mothers Lies · Faith After Religion

Mar 8 (edited) • Admin

My Mothers Lies

This was one of my favourite dresses as a child. We had many dresses growing up, but a dress made of two different colour fabrics was still rare in our Mennonite community as it was considered incredibly vain and sinful.

But the blue and white, I loved it.

It took me a long time to look at photos of me as a child without feeling intense disgust. I was conditioned to understand that I was nothing but an evil, fat troubled girl. My mother’s favourite adjectives for me, as young as I can remember were

WHORE and SLUT.

I was a seductress, who was horribly jealous of her.

But I wasn’t any of those things, I know that now.

I came to know Christ at 18, and now at 29 I finally understand that I am worthy of love. I can now look at photos of myself as a young girl, and I love her, and I wish I could meet her in her time and protect her.

My mother’s words have lost their sting.

I forgave her, and I forgave myself.

I grieved the Mother I wanted and accepted the one I had.

I AM A DAUGHTER OF THE KING

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