3h (edited) • Discussion
Year 2
Moving on into year #2. I don’t know what I expected at this point. Was I expecting things to be better? Not hurt as much? Maybe I thought it’d be just flat feeling like how it was when he was at work and my days just went on. Maybe I thought that once I crossed the threshold into “year number two without you ,” there was gonna be some major balloon drop and confetti Stream shooting everywhere like yay I made it!
But there’s nothing. Everything still sucks. I’m taking care of our 28 year-old profoundly autistic son who exhibits self injurious behavior daily. He hit himself in the face so much the last few days that he has a blackeye and part of his nose is now swelling. I had surgery last weekend on my foot after sustaining a dog bite, I broke up my dogs who were fighting. I can’t get the state to help with emergency respite. I’m in the same circle of hell that I was in 6 months ago. I am so pissed at his dad for leaving me with all of this to handle . My other two sons do help, but they are burnt out . It is 24/7 care for brother, something they didn’t sign up for and they are also on the spectrum themselves. And then there’s a part of me that envious that my husband doesn’t have to deal with any of this anymore. So I’m laying in my bed today feeling like shit, foot hurting trying to rest a little bit and I just wanna curl up and disappear.
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Year 2
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