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Nov '25 •
[START HERE] Welcome to the group!
Hi there! I'm Julie - founder of Marital Crossroads To Clarity. Welcome! I am thrilled to see you here!! First things first. I'd like to 'set the scene' for you in terms of expectations. Together we are going to build a community that is: ✅ Supportive - you are not on your own ✅ Practical - in terms of learning...then implementing! The Bible is a Life Manual (and more) like no other and when that is combined with science in terms of how God wired and designed us - incredible change and growth can happen even in the middle of our trials. ✅ Idea-spawning and inspiring (you have YOUR unique voice and wisdom to share) ✅ Fun! Yes - you read that right. Starting with the poll below 😊 ✝️ Faith-deepening (with God being the ULTIMATE source of wisdom) HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS GROUP 🗣️ Engage! Ask questions. Share where you are at. Contribute and comment on others posts. ➡️ Head over to the Start Here Course One thing you should also know: As an accredited Coach, I have a paid coaching program. When you're ready to go deeper, there is a paid way to work with me one-to-one. HERE'S WHAT TO DO NEXT 👋 Introduce yourself below! 🗺️ Let me know where you are from ➡️Comment on another person's introduction. FOR SOME FUN ❓ What would be your FAVOURITE thing to do if you had a day all to yourself? Would you: 💆♀️Head to a Day Spa for the day? ☕Find a great Bookstore that has a Cafe with couches - and get lost in books, coffee and a🍰 🛍️Go shopping and buy something special just for YOU 🌲Get off the beaten track and get into nature for the day? Thank you for being here! Julie.
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23h •
Tip #3/4 for reaching an avoidant spouse (a self-care move)
Resist the story spiral! The moment my husband would go into silent mode, my mind would instantly launch into all kinds of stories I would start telling myself. The first one would typically be "he doesn't love me anymore" followed by "I'm not enough for him" followed by "I've done something wrong...again..." You get the idea. But here's what I found (by practice - not just as a wife but also as a coach and someone now trained in helping others rewire their internal belief system): 🧠The mind listens! The human brain cannot distinguish between objective truth, and what you tell it. It works TIRELESSLY to make your internal dialogue your physical and emotional reality. That internal narrative pattern I used to have had less to do with my husband and more to do with my own belief system shaped by experiences from my past. We are already prone to telling ourselves negative things, and so a conscious reframe is telling ourselves a DIFFERENT and better story than the negative one. "I AM enough for him. Right now he's struggling to find words to talk through what's going on." "This is a temporary challenge, and I have the resilience to handle it." "I trust myself to handle whatever happens, and I let go of the rest." It takes practice because it doesn't come naturally. But like building a muscle - you get strong with it. So - here's a question for you. What's a repeating negative belief that you want to develop a 'conscious reframe' with? Let me know in the comments below and we can shape a present tense and powerful reframe!
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Apr 18 •
A Conversation Worth Having
Behind the scenes I've been developing a program focused on helping women who struggle with navigating difficult conversations with their spouse. That was me....for AGES. I hated the slightest risk of conflict, so rather than speaking up, I kept things buried. Turned out this aversion to conflict was a pattern based on a belief I'd formed as a little girl. My mother left the family when I was 10 yrs old. My dad raised my two younger brothers and I mostly on his own. Here's the thing, though. When I saw them fight, and then mum left (I just came home from school one day and she was gone) - I created an equation in my 10yr old mind "If two people who love each other fight - one of them will leave." Several years into my marriage - that belief had entrenched itself in my thinking. I was terrified that if we got into a fight - my husband would leave. So I was always a peacekeeper, at the expense of being my authentic self. I am very grateful to God that he led me through completely reframing that false belief and teaching me HIS way to be. So - that's the origin story of what I created. However, I don't want to "assume" that it's what most women would find value in. So to explore this more fully and validate (or give me a different steer) what I've developed, I invite you to complete a survey I've created. In the survey, the questions take you through some reflections on your marriage. Your voice matters and it will be instrumental in helping others along the way. 💞 👇 Click the link and it will take you straight to it. https://forms.gle/XDGa3QksiZmYBKpTA
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3d •
Tip #2/4 for reaching an avoidant spouse
THIS one helped me so much to have much more constructive conversations! Ever found yourself launching into fix-it mode when your spouse has talked to you about something - because the solution seems so obvious? Or perhaps you've AVOIDED even starting a conversation because your spouse has done that so many times, when it hasn't been what you were needing - that you just keep it to yourself? Tip #2 helps you BOTH. Instead of launching into a conversation, pre-frame it at the beginning by defining exactly what you are needing. "I want to talk something through with you. What I need is for you to just listen, because I want to process this out loud. This would really help me." Or try this: "I want to talk something through with you, and I want to hear your thoughts on a possible solution..." Whether you just need him to listen, or you need him to come up with solutions to something - naming what you need at the very beginning takes the pressure of him and gives him a clear, achievable role.
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16d •
The pivot that made a big difference
One of the reasons why I created this space was to grow the community I wish I had around me when my husband's mental health spiralled, leading to a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I also LOVE developing practical resources to use that have come from my own story, and 'aha' moments I discover as I continue to learn. It's a deep desire I have to help lighten the load being carried, in some small way. So if you haven't had the chance yet, head over to the Classroom to find those resources. I've got more coming! For now, in this video I share a bit more of my story and the "aha" moments I had along the way. Let me know in the comments what resonated, or, share a pivotal moment that you experienced that helped you. 👇
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skool.com/marriage-crossroads-to-clarity
A place for Christian spouses in a trauma-impacted marriage. The focus here is on you - equipping you to find the clarity you've been missing.
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